It’s easy to write about Jodi Arias. With her ever-changing looks and personalities, her lies and deceptions, her lust and greed, and most of all, her shockingly violent behavior. We’ll never run out of things to say about Jodi.
But how often have we talked about Travis? I mean, really talked about Travis. Not just that he was a good guy, outgoing and hard working. Not all of the fluffy stuff that people say when a good person has passed on. I’m talking about the flaws, the disappointments, the struggles and idiosyncrasies… the things that make a person unique. The things that make us real. To talk about these things doesn’t have to be seen as a disservice to the dead. It’s a real conversation about who these people were, what they dreamed for their life and where they fell short. Isn’t there value in discussing that?
A few things stood out to me when reading Travis’ journals from the last two months of his life. First, he only mentioned Jodi twice. A stark contrast to Jodi’s journals that constantly lament about Travis. About how much she loves him, all the things they did together, both small and big, the conversations they shared, and the many ways he let her down. Yes, many of Jodi’s journals were BS. But once you get a feel for her manipulative patterns, you can start to see what was real and what was likely fake. What’s abundantly clear is that her life was completely centered around one person – Travis.
But for Travis, in the last two months of his life, the first time he mentions Jodi in his journal is to say that she’s gone. As in, gone from Mesa and one could infer, gone from his life. The second was to document a full day in which he had no communication with her – and he loved it!
The next thing I noticed was his clear attempt at utilizing the Laws of Attraction. All throughout his writing he repeats life is good regardless of what’s happening at the time. He wills things into existence. But we all know – although he wasn’t writing about Jodi, he was still doing Jodi – and then some. Maybe she didn’t mean enough to him (his dirty little secret) to write about her, or maybe he was bullshitting his own journal and didn’t have the nerve to put in writing what he was really doing. Either way – what he was writing, what he was wishing and what he was doing were not in unison. Not even close.
The third thing that surprised me was his affection for Lisa Andrews. We’ve all focused on Mimi Hall as being the woman he supposedly wanted to marry, the one he was taking to Cancun, but in most of his writing in April & May, he talks a lot about how much he misses and loves Lisa.
In court last week, numerous text messages were released that we hadn’t yet heard, documenting just how many women Travis was speaking to in the last months of his life. And quite honestly, it was shocking. He was clearly on a path to find a wife and he says so in his journal, but he was also playing the field – hard. He talks about meeting women online and at parties although, again, what he was saying in his text messages was a far cry from what he was saying in his journal. Maybe he chose not to share those things with family, friends, and obviously church members, but the biggest problem he had was being dishonest with himself.
The point of all this isn’t to be critical of Travis dating multiple women. It’s not to blame him for his untimely, horrific, death. Jodi holds responsibility for that. And it’s certainly not to suggest that he was an abuser. I don’t believe that, nor is there any evidence to support that. The point is to look at where Travis and Jodi were in their lives and what factors may have lead to their collective demise. There’s a much bigger story to tell than simply blaming it all on jealousy. No, there was a lot more going on and the picture becomes a little clearer when you take a close look at their very own words…
Excerpts from Travis’ Journal:
4/8/08: Life is good. I am happy. I want a girlfriend that has the potential to marry. Now that Jodi is gone and Deanna is moving, space is created, less drama can insue. I miss Lisa. I feel like a fool pursuing Mimi. I was just so confused by it all. I was also stressed about money. This was all motivation to kind of let things go by the way side. I feel like an idiot. I’m also sad because I lost my journal and wouldn’t be surprised if it was stolen and most of time with Lisa is in there.
4/9/08: I think I am going to hit a grandslam on all of the stuff I’ve got going today. I’m in the zone. I have much regret with Lisa right now. I messed up a good thing. Anyhow I will think on this for a bit longer and figure out what I am going to do. Anyhow today is gonna be great and I’m gonna be happy. Life is always perfect and is the way it is, sure can become better.
4/10/08: Mimi emailed me and texted me a few times, also she complimented me on my house and also on the speech I did. Her mother and herself listened to it. She having a book/film club. I think she is gonna hold the thing at my house. We will see. I’m not gonna get too excited. My mind is already all over the place right now. I talked to Michelle and Taylor about stuff. Taylor are in the same boat of possible regret, lonliness, confusion and inconsistant commitment. Michelle and Lisa are similar on sum raspects too. They don’t want a ton to do with me. I didn’t speak to Jodi for the entire day. Wow. I think that would never happen. I loved it. No negativity, no distractions. I’m sure it was good for her too. Anyhow that’s about it. Life is wonderful.
4/14/08: This week should be a great week. A lot to do and a lot of unfolding events. The book club. A new RM, the Cancun trip. I think good news will come out of all of them. So I’m gonna assume that’s the case and get to work. Life is good. Back to work.
4/15/08: The good news is I got an email today saying that I qualified for the Cancun trip. I’m very very excited about that. Prepaid has allowed me to have a lot of fun. I’m very fortunate.
4/16/08: Today is gonna be productive and I am happy about it. I have my book club with Mimi, so I’m pretty elated about that. So life is good and getting better.
4/17/08: Well yesterday as I suspected due to lack of promotion and human nature, the meeting sponsored by Mimi was slim not a ton of people there. Anyhow it meant more Mimi for Me Me 🙂 We saw on the same Lovesac. That’s right she invited me to sit next to her. So I am pretty excited. Not only that but we are hanging out tomorrow watching some of those movies. I’m just excited to be around her. I need to find out when I have to make the Cancun decision.
4/21/08: Well this is one of those days where I don’t want to do anything. Tired of dealing with Prepaid legal politics, I’m tired of figuring out girls.
4/22/08: Mimi and I are going on a group date. I am excited because we are friends with everyone is going. So we will both be comfortable. So good news on the horizon. I got up relatively early. I’ve been blogging a little lately. I think I have put some good stuff on it. It will be good to get my name out there. In my opinion will be a catalyst for another stream of income and also will help my mind to process somethings to help along the completion of my book. So things are coming along. I’m happy. It’s gonna get easier. It’s getting better. As the adage says: everyday in everyway I’m getting better.
4/29/08: The other news is my date w/ Mimi this last Saturday didn’t happen because she was sick. I decided to turn lemons into lemonade and I went and got her an herbal remedy [illegible] ingredients, in a wicker basket with raffia and left it on her porch. She texted me 10 minutes later saying thanks but please don’t be so nice to me. I asked why not she basically said never mind. So I just laid it down. I told her via text I like you, but I don’t know if you like me. So I need to know, so I know if I should ask you out again. I never heard back from her. At church however she came up to me and asked if I got her text. I said no. She said well we need to have a chat. That night we did. She told me she was interested but wasn’t sure how interested. So she wanted to schedule the date again. So time will tell. That’s good news in my opinion. The better news is I asked her to go to Cancun w/me today and she said yes. So barring that she gets work off we are off to Cancun!!! Life is good! Everything is falling into place. Having said that I will close for now. I’m happy.
5/9/08: Life is good. Life is very good. Anyhow I got my mountain bike, that’s pretty cool. I have a date w/ Mimi tomorrow. I won’t lie, I’m excited but I hope it goes better. Alright I’m done for now. Peace.
[THE JODI/TRAVIS SEX TAPE IS MADE ON THE NIGHT OF MAY 10] So did Travis have a date with Mimi on the same night he made the sex tape with Jodi?
5/13/08: The journal writing and all productivity have ebbed and flowed the past 2 weeks. Being in Cali and [illegible] probably too much on my website. But I’m home now and can get back into a routine. The Mimi thing is unchanged. I saw her and Lisa last night at FHR. Mimi was cordial and Lisa of course ignored me. So all of that remains the same. However I met some interesting people online. Not my referred method of operating but one of these girls has raised my eyebrows. So much that it almost seems too good to be true. I talked to her though and her story checks out from what I can tell. She is just so pretty that it’s hard to swallow. Anyhow I am very very intrigued. Really, how could I not be. It’s better to trust too much than not enough. So the plot thickens as I run the blind race to the alter.
5/16/08: Mimi called me and gave me the let’s be friends talk. Darn it darn it. What can a brother do. I did the best I could figure out. But nerves was my enemy. Anyhow I am bummed but at least I can move on. This has been a very unproductive week. I’m getting cabin fever too. Literally, this house is driving me crazy. I have such random thoughts. Anyhow it’s only gonna get better. Problems tend to solve themselves and things get better if you will them to. So the future is looking good. Nothing really to complain about. Time to get back to making the world a better place.
5/18/08: The website is gaining slow momentum. It will be a smashing success. I’m getting ready to take that thing to a whole new level. The weekend was one of the worst ever. My own fault, same as the week. Today is already better. I didn’t get to bed until 4am. I was thinking about Lisa. Regret and reconciliation were what my mind were focused on. I miss her. I still love her. Mimi gave me something to take my mind off things, but it didn’t change my feelings for Lisa. I thought by now I would be over them but I’m not. Strange really. Alright enough it’s a busy day I need to make the most of it.
5/21/08: Well I’m freaking out right now, I’m calling Lisa in about 10 minutes to try and clear the air sort of speak. I doubt she will answer but that’s probably okay. I just hope we get to talk. Either way I am doing the right thing. This is going to be good. My passport stuff is in and I am doing alright. This day should be a day for the ages. Stay tuned.
5/22/08: Well Lisa has not called back yet. I can only have faith that she will. I am broken up. I made some big mistakes and I am paying for them now. I guess we are all our own worst enemies. It’s rough. I’m not sure what my next move is. Lisa is a hard one to deal with. You can’t call her out on her pride because the pride just gets worse. So I just have to open and humble if I ever get the chance to talk to her. I think it will be good. I know it will be good. It needs to happen and somehow it will happen. It needs to happen now. I’ll see what I can do I guess to make it happen today. But it will happen soon. Enough is enough.
5/23/08: Anyhow still no word from Lisa. I’m guessing that I won’t here any word from Lisa either. So I am gonna talk to her tomorrow [illegible] I will definitely call her. Time will tell. It’s gonna happen. I hope soon. Besides that yesterday was kind of lame, like the past two weeks.
5/27/08: Well still no talking to Lisa. The blog is coming along. That’s good. Today is gonna be productive. I’ll get a lot done. People are really responding well. UFC party was great as usual. Met some new people. A couple new girls even. Anything that will get my mind off Lisa for a moment. Memorial Day I was bored. I didn’t do much. I just stayed up all night and wrote. But it feels good. I’m getting stuff done. I will continue to. I’m out.
5/28/08: Well I had a lame day. Not productive by my standards but productive compared to the last 3 weeks. The only thing that gets done with any efficiency is my website. Not how I want it to be. Lots of bills due that need to get paid as well. So the next few days will be good. I will get work done. That’s about it.
5/29/08: So I talked to Lisa yesterday. She actually called me. It was her being slightly cold, me being slightly too nice, and me doing all of the talking. She listening to me. I expressed regret, love and a desire to be more cordial to each other. She agreed. It was about 30 minutes long. It will all me to get over stuff. Later Mimi came over, we discussed Cancun. We discussed the whole friends thing. I don’t really care. It is what it is. However the good news is on Saturday I met a cutie pie on Saturday at my UFC party. I saw her Sunday again at church. Two days ago she requested me as a friend on Facebook We have been sending email flirts ever since. I got her phone number. We’ve been texting and now we are hanging out tonight. She is young, 19. She is cute and she has great taste in men 🙂 Now I’m excited about something, so it helps. Her name is Brooke Rogers. So time will tell. I’m just happy to have something to think about.