An excerpt from the chapter…
I think Reeva was scarred and thus naive when it came to love, same as Oscar was. Their idea of love was like being in a dream, you have to close your eyes to the world in order to dream…and especially dreams of love…
But as most of us eventually – hopefully – realize, love is that most vital area where you need to be most awake. Love in the romantic sense may seem the most like dreaming, and may feel that way, but much of those feelings aren’t real. True love is work. True love is a shared project, it is DOING things together. And you can’t do anything with your eyes closed.
That romantic immaturity, given a cocktail of glitz, glamour, money and media, is a recipe for a disaster of monumental proportions. It means not only tightrope walking with your eyes closed, while your own ghosts and demons come to the surface, but putting up a brave face to sell to the world, and your partner. There are three-too many balls being juggled there….
Reeva’s attachment to the idea of being in love meant finding somebody to nurture and heal. By the act of healing Oscar, she could also heal herself. And considering her financial stresses, perhaps she thought that partnering with Oscar could provide a better life.
On 8 February 2013, less than a week before her death, Reeva posted this haunting image to Instagram:
“…breathing in some fresh air and chatting about life…”
Yes, contemplating the tree of life…and how to rise above her raising. And how and when and who to have children with and to raise herself.
The tree is what connects the Earth to the Heavens, and Reeva was contemplating her connections…and where they could take her.
But look carefully…what you see is not one tree, but several…and only one (on the left) is catching the sunlight. Meanwhile the tree on the right, Oscar’s, has become tall and dark and has begun to blot out the sky….
I think the possibility of finding somebody who needed her as much as she needed him was exhilarating. They ran in the same circles and were moving in the same direction. But that kind of luminous possibility will quickly dim when your stars are not aligned with the right person… or worse, you find yourself with a dangerous person. Although June would like to believe her daughter had not been intimate with Oscar, there are many signs that tell a different story…
Available on Amazon, November 20, 2014