Breaking Down Jodi’s Secret Testimony – Part 3


Arias Testimony Oct 30.2014


Jodi:  Well, looking back, I see it was a pattern almost from the beginning; but I didn’t notice it until later… later being later on in the relationship.  It seemed like when he had somebody there to provide for him, he didn’t need me or want me but when someone wasn’t there or he needed clothes, he was trying to make the relationship work.

Willmott:  And when he tried to make the relationship work, is that something that you went along with?

Jodi:  Yes, I did.

Willmott:  You said you broke up and got back together several different times?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  Was there a time when you broke up with him completely?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And approximately when is this?

Jodi:  This was late 1999.

Willmott:  So late 1999, you would have been 19?

Jodi:  Yes.

Jodi:  There was a break-up.  At Denny’s I built up vacation time.  So I decided to use that.  I went back to Costa Rica to heal from the break-up, just to get away from everything.  So I spent eight days there with the family.  Victor had moved out and moved on.  He was doing other things.  I was with the family and hanging out and trying to heal; go to the beach and…


Victor has moved out of his family’s home at this point and Jodi claims she’s going to Costa Rica to visit his family, not him.  Does anybody really believe that?  She can’t say she’s going to visit Victor because that falls right in line with her pattern of jumping from guy to guy.  Her and Bobby split, and she was back in Victor’s bed in no time.

Willmott:  Did you go to kind of clear your head?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And what were you thinking about?  When you say clear your head, what were you thinking about?

Jodi:  Well, I was… there was a lot of pain in the relationship and things we had been through.  It was kind of processing.  It was meditative in a way.  There wasn’t a whole lot of activity like when I was 17, we went to all the tourist spots.  It was more educational.  This was more relaxing.

Willmott:  So what happened?  So you come back from Costa Rica?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Did you make a decision about your relationship with Bobbie?

Jodi:  Yes, we were broken up.

Willmott:  Did you intend to keep it that way?  


Let me translate – did you try your very best not to stalk him?  It’s almost laughable how obvious these questions are.  The whole world knows that Jodi is an obsessive girlfriend, that she can’t let things go.  But Willmott is, not very successfully in my opinion, trying to use this as an example of Jodi practicing self-control and walking away.

Jodi:  Yes, I had not planned to contact him.

Willmott:  What happened?

Jodi:  I came back to work at Denny’s where I was working, and I was just working my shift.  I went in the back for something.  I came back out.  There are counters in the front where the swinging door is from the back.  When I came out, he was sitting right on the first seat there with this puppy dog look on his face, like his head in his hands kind of thing.

Willmott:  Was he just waiting for you?

Jodi:  Yeah.

Willmott:  Did you end up speaking with him?

Jodi:  Yeah.

Willmott:  And how did that conversation go?

Jodi:  It was emotional.  I was coming up on my break.  So he waited and we left the building and we went outside to the parking lot to my car to talk and there were tears and he missed me and I missed him.  I guess so we ended up… I don’t know that we actually got back together.  This was very much towards the end, but we continued to see each other.

Willmott:  At this point in time where were you living?

Jodi:  I believe I was with my grandma at this point.  Yeah, I think I was living with my grandma.

Willmott:  Other than this back and forth with you and Bobbie, was there ever a point in time when he was actually physical with you?

Jodi:  Yes, one time.

Willmott: And as far as when we are talking timeline, when does that happen.

Jodi:  This was also late 1999.  I don’t recall the exact month, but it might have been around October and I was at my… I was at my friend’s house.  I forgot.  I was living at this girl’s house, just staying there.  I stayed there a few months.  So at this point I’m at her house and… this is in Montague as well.  He as over there visiting.  There was no one else home, just him and I.  We got into an argument.


Willmott:  What happened in the argument?

Jodi:   The argument, he…

Willmott:  Was he yelling?

Jodi  He was yelling.  He was very dramatic.  He is very emotionally deep.  He was just being himself, and we were arguing; and he approached me and he spun me around and he got me into a choke hold.

Willmott:  He had his arm around your throat?

Jodi:  I think both arms.  I don’t really know how to do a choke hold but he does.  So he did that. 

Willmott:  Why does he know how to do a choke hold?

Jodi:  He was in Martial Arts and that sort of thing.

Willmott:  You said he came up to you and he spun you around?

Jodi:  Yes, he just took my shoulders and spun me around so my back was to him.

Willmott:  What were you expecting?  Do you remember… do you have a memory of what you thought was going to happen when he spun you around?

Jodi:  Yeah.  I mean, we had made up after arguments before and he was nice.  He had never been physical with me before.  So I was thinking he was going to hug me or something and instead he choked me.

If they were really having a heated fight, why would she have the expectation that he’s going to hug her?  Her stories simply lack all common sense, which seems to support that they are just stories and not actually the truth.


Willmott:  What happened when he choked you?  Do you remember it?

Jodi:  Yeah, he squeezed really hard and he let go; and I fell to my knees.  Very, very light headed.  I almost passed out but I didn’t.

Willmott:  What was going through your head at that point in time?

Jodi:  I was kind of mad. 


Kind of mad?  Does that seem like a reasonable response to being choked to the point of almost passing out?  Again, nonsensical.


Jodi:  I thought you just choked me.  I was a little bit mad.  I was stunned.  He had never done that before.  So I turned around and followed him out of the living room and said something… I don’t remember what I said… something to the effect that my family would be very upset if they knew what you just did.  It wasn’t that but it was…

Willmott:  Jodi, let me ask you this:  He just choked you and you followed him out?

Jodi:  Well, we were in this house.  The living room is right outside the bedroom.  So you know… he went to the living room and I went to the living room.

Willmott:  So then what happens?

Jodi:  At that point he approached me again, and he got me into some kind of hold.  I don’t recall like how it was, but it was… he had my arm and he was placing pressure on my forearm: and it seemed intention was to break it.

Willmott:  Because of the pressure that he was placing?

Jodi:  Right, the way he was holding it. The way he was putting the pressure on it.

Willmott:  At this point in time do you remember what was going on through your head?

Jodi:  Well, the phone was like not 5 or 6 feet away.  So that was my intention.

Willmott:  What did you do?

Jodi:  I somehow squirmed over to the phone and managed to grab it.  We were both trying to grab it.  I grabbed it and I turned it on and I called 911.

Willmott:  Is this a cell phone or home phone?

Jodi:  A portable home phone.

Willmott:  Okay

Jodi:  He grabbed the phone from me and hung it up.

Willmott:  Okay.  Did they ever call back?

Jodi:  Yeah.  He was telling me to shut up because at that point I was crying.  He kept telling me to shut up because they were going to call back.   Maybe a few seconds later, a minute… not even a minute later the phone rang.  He answered and he talked to the operator and he told her everything was fine.  It was just a mistake.

Willmott:  Do you know if the police ever showed up?

Jodi:  I don’t… I mean, we left.

Willmott:  I was going to say, why don’t you know?

Jodi:  Yeah, we left.  We were leaving.  He didn’t have a ride.  So I took him where he needed to go.

She has to say she left because of course the police would have come to the house to check it out.  They always do.  If Jodi was that terrified and upset that she called 911, she wouldn’t simply get in a car with him and leave.

Willmott:  After all this, you took him?  You just didn’t leave him?

Jodi:  You know, I don’t know actually… I know he left and we both left.  I’m sorry.  He may have walked away or he may have gotten in my car with me.  I don’t remember.


This is not a mundane detail and one that somebody should remember!  If your typically non-violent boyfriend just tried to choke you and you almost passed out, and then you called the police – you would remember how you each left the scene that day.    To me, this is a clear sign that there are parts of this story that aren’t true.

Also, the fact that the details of this story are almost an exact replica of the story she tells with Travis, is not a coincidence.  She’s making stories up on the fly and that’s why there are commonalities.  She accused both men, Bobby and Travis, of suddenly becoming violent after initially having a loving, non-violent relationship with them.  They both choked her suddenly and she forgave them both.  I think she has wildly exaggerated these situations to gain sympathy from family members.

Willmott:  But did you stay at the house?

Jodi:  No, not that time.

Willmott:  You said this was a house… a friend’s house that you had just been staying at briefly?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  Did you have any idea what the address was?

Jodi:  No, I didn’t get any mail there.

Willmott:  And after you were arrested and this case was pending, did you have any idea what that address was?

Jodi:  No.  I mean, I could drive to the house.  I know where it is, but I don’t know the address.

Willmott:  You didn’t know… you didn’t have the actual physical address of it, right?

Jodi:  No, I don’t.

Willmott:  After this happens with Bobbie, did you tell anybody?

Jodi:  Yes, I did.

Willmott:  Who did you tell?

Jodi:  I told my parents.

Willmott:  And okay and anybody else?

Jodi:  Um…

Willmott:  Well, after you told your parents, did anybody else find out?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Who?

Jodi:  I guess they told my brother Carl.

Willmott:  Why do you guess that?

Jodi:  Because he got a little gang of his friends and they went over to Bobbie’s house and confronted him.


Willmott:  Carl and a little gang of his friends, was one of his friends named Kellan (phonetic)?

Jodi:  Yes

Willmott:  Did you know Kellan?

Jodi:  I did know him… not very well but I knew he was a friend of my brother’s .

Willmott:   And did Kellan, was he in high school when you were…

Jodi:  Right, he was a grade younger… a grade below mine and my brother.  My brother was only one grade below me.  So they were in the same grade.

Willmott:  So your brother Carl and Kellan, were there other boys involved that you knew of?

Jodi:  There were other boys involved to my understanding.

Willmott:  What did they do?

Martinez:  OBJECTION.  Lack of foundation – to my understanding.  How does she know?

Court:  Sustained

Willmott:  What did they do?

Jodi:  They went to…

Martinez:  Same objection.  Lack of foundation.

Willmott:  Her answer was not in relation to that question.

Court:  Overruled.   You may answer.

Jodi:  They went to Bobbie’s house.

Martinez:  Objection.  Foundation.  They went to Bobbie’s house.

Court:  Sustained

Willmott:  Judge, may we approach?

Martinez says to the Judge that he wants to know how Jodi knows this information about her brother and his friends.  Willmott says she will ask her.

At this point in testimony, they take a break and discuss the fact that the attorney for the press has requested the closed chambers hearing record.

Court:  Let’s take up the issue of the transcript of the hearing conducted in chambers.  The attorney for the press has requested it.  Thinking about it, my suggestion is that I enter an order that the transcript be prepared under seal and provided directly to the Court of Appeals in the event there is a special action filed.  So it would not go to anyone other than to the Court of Appeals.

Martinez:  Well, I think that this involves a third party.  They should probably be heard on that issue; but if that is the ruling that goes to the Court of Appeals, someone should perhaps tell their lawyer that’s where it is.

Court:  Right.  I told the lawyer for the media that I needed to speak to you and get any objection to providing the transcript.

Martinez:  No, I have no objection to the transcript being provided.

Nurmi:  Not to the Court of Appeals.  Obviously our concern is it getting out to the media in any way, shape or form. 


God forbid Jodi looks like an idiot in front of the public.  She’s already on trial for murder – how much worse can it get?    In her closed hearing the defense team complained on her behalf that she gets nervous talking to the court and she’s in fear for her safety.  In fear for her safety?  She’s on trial facing the death penalty.  Yes, I would say her safety is already at stake and their argument is ridiculous.



Nurmi:  So the attorneys for KPNX to be instructed it is also under seal and only being created for the limited purposes of a special action.

Court:  Okay.  So, Randy, you want to go out and see if the attorney is still out in the hallway.  I will ask court staff to contact the attorney and give him an opportunity if he wants to be present.  Otherwise, we will tell him that the intention is we will provide a sealed transcript directly to the Court of Appeals.  If he wants to be heard on that issue, he can come down and have a hearing on Monday.  We are at recess.

They return from break…

Willmott:  Jodi, when we took a break, we were talking about what happened after Bobbie choked you and what your brother did?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  How… are you aware whether or not your brother did anything after that?

Jodi:  Yes

Willmott:  How were you aware of that?

Jodi:  One of my family members told me.  I think it might have been my parents and also Bobbie told me.

Willmott:  Bobbie told you later?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  What is it that you learned that happened?

Jodi:  My brother and a group of his friends confronted him.  They went to his house.  They knocked on his door and they went out there and confronted him.

Willmott:  When they confronted him… did they beat him up or what happened?

Jodi:  I don’t know dialogue or anything, but their intention was to go there to intimidate him somehow.

Willmott:  Is that because of what he did to you?

Jodi:  Yes, right.

Willmott:  And what… do you know based on what Bobbie told you what he did?

Jodi:  Yes

Willmott:  What did Bobbie do?

Jodi:  He got a sword and he… he knows how to wield it.  So he came out there and started swinging it around and scared them off.

Ok, seriously.  A sword??  Who are these people?  Here’s what I think happened, and of course this is speculation.  I think that Jodi and Bobbie did have a heated fight.  There may have been some physical scuffling involved, or not, but I don’t believe Jodi when she says that Bobbie choked her out of the blue.  I tend to think, knowing her penchant for going off the deep end, she embellished the physicality of their argument to gain sympathy from her family and to prompt Carl to act.  Threats are her specialty, so if she wasn’t happy with Bobbie, having her brother threaten him seems right up her alley.

Willmott:  Okay.  At this point in time in your relationship, is that… was that… how did you feel about your relationship after that?

Jodi:  Well, at this time… this is around the time the whole relationship just began to fall apart for good, not permanently yet; but it was coming close to that point.

Yes, I would imagine a choking, leading to a 911 call, leading to a sword fight, would be a bit of a downer in most relationships.  Does she realize how ridiculous this sounds?  She doesn’t sound like a woman who is conflicted by an abuser – she sounds like a scammer who is playing everyone like puppets.

Willmott:  And what did you do about that?  How is it that it fell apart? 

Jodi:  Well, there was that incident; and I did go to Costa Rica to heal from things.  Also, I ended up moving to Santa Maria to sort of get away from everything.

Willmott:  When you say you moved to Santa Maria, tell us again, this is from Yreka to Santa Maria?

Jodi:  Yes, back to Santa Maria.

Willmott:  About how far apart is that?

Jodi:  I’m guessing about 600 miles.  I just know it takes all day long to drive.

Willmott:  When you moved to Santa Maria, did you stay with… who do you stay with?

Jodi:  I stayed with a friend of mine that I had made friends with down there.

Willmott:  And what did you do when you were down there? 

Jodi:  I got a job and began working.

Willmott:  Where did you get a job at?

Jodi:  Applebee’s

Willmott:  During this time did Bobbie contact you at all?

Jodi:  Yeah, he continued to contact me.

Willmott:  Was that by phone?

Jodi:  Right, by phone.

Willmott:  Did he ever come to visit you?

Jodi:  Yes.  He did come to Santa Maria with me at one time.

Willmott:  And did you consider yourself dating him anymore?

Jodi:  We were still dating.  I don’t know where we were going, but we were still seeing each other.

Willmott:  And if you were still dating, why did you move to Santa Maria?

Jodi:  Well, like I said, we were constantly breaking up and getting back together and breaking up.  He would always say it was over.  It is over and he would call me back again.  He would apologize or whatever.  He was dramatic.

Willmott:  All right.  So about how long did you stay in Santa Maria?

Jodi:  How long, only like two months.

Willmott:  Okay. What happened to Bobbie during those two months?

Jodi:  He ended up moving to Medford, Oregon which is about 50 miles north of Yreka.

Willmott:  50 miles north of Yreka?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Okay.  And when he moved to Medford, where was he living just generally?

Jodi:  He started living with a friend that he reconnected with.

Willmott:  At this point did Bobbie finally get a job?

Jodi:  He finally managed to get a job.

Willmott:  So was he working in Medford then?

Jodi:  Yes, he was.

Willmott:  During this time you said that you were still in contact with him?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  At a certain point did you leave Santa Maria?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Why is that?

Jodi:  It was harder than I thought it would be financiallySo I moved back to Yreka to be with my grandma.  I wasn’t in Santa Maria very long.


Her grandparent’s house is her default place to fall back to when times get hard.  If she doesn’t have a man to stay with, she goes back to that room.


Willmott:  You said you moved in with your grandma?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  Why not in with your parents?

Jodi:  I didn’t want to go back to that environment.  My parents and I were getting along better now that we weren’t interacting so much.  Our relationship improved somewhat after I moved out.

Willmott:  When you didn’t have constant contact with them?

Jodi:  Right.  When I wasn’t living with them under the same roof, seeing them all the time under their rules.  They didn’t… they were nicer and I just didn’t have… I don’t know.  It was just better between us.  Everything improved when I moved out.


I believe Jodi when she says that escaping “their rules” was the key to her happiness.  Jodi doesn’t want to live by anybody’s rules.  If somebody’s abusing you, just moving out doesn’t solve the problem.  Obviously her problem was them trying to parent her.  And not having to answer to them or be disciplined by them surely was a source of relief for her.  I’m sure it was a source of relief for them too, based on what they said to Detective Flores at the police station.

The only reason she was staying in that tiny dump of a bedroom at her grandparent’s house was because she couldn’t afford to live on her own, and she could come and go and have her freedom.  But the four walls of that room moved in on her every time she went back, and she was never there long before she got the itch to move out again. But her finances were continually a burden.  The only way out for her – permanently – was to find a man to support her.  For the most part, Travis had the ability to do that.   She wasn’t just obsessed with Travis; she was desperate for him to change her life.  In her disturbed mind, he ruined everything for her and she responded in a monstrous way.

Willmott:  When you came back to Yreka, was that… is that why you moved in with your grandma?

Jodi bedroom at grandparents house

Jodi:  Right, and my grandmother and I have always gotten along. 

Willmott:  Was your grandfather still alive at that time?

Jodi:  Yeah, both of my grandparents were there.

Willmott:  All right.  And what did you do… how long did you stay in Yreka?

Jodi:  Well, not long.

Willmott:  Okay.

Jodi:  I don’t remember exactly.

Willmott:  You don’t remember exactly?

Jodi:  Yeah, I was there during the holidays; but I may have just been there for the holidays.  I wasn’t there long.

Willmott:  And at this point in time is Bobbie still contacting you?

Jodi:  Yes, we are still hanging out.

Notice Willmott constantly positions her questioning as Bobbie chasing Jodi.  It can’t be Jodi contacting him because that falls in line with her being the aggressor, and as we know with Travis, the stalker.  They have to paint the picture that Jodi is being pursued.  But in actuality, there is a pattern of Jodi following her boyfriends around after they’ve broken up.   She and Bobbie were on the outs, and she followed him to Oregon, as you’ll see in this next section.  She and Victor were broken up, yet she traveled all the way to Costa Rica – she claims to see his family, but let’s be real – she went there for him.  And of course, we know she moved to Mesa, AZ, from CA, after she and Travis broke up.  There is a clear pattern that she can’t let go.  She’s frequently interjecting herself into the lives of these men.  Willmott is running interference and trying to squash any inferences to prior stalking the jury may make.


Willmott:  And because of that, do you meet… do you know who his roommate is?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Did you get to meet his roommate?

Jodi:  I did.

Willmott:  Did you become friends with this roommate?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  What was his roommate’s name?

Jodi:  His name is Matt McCartney.


Willmott:  And because of meeting Mr. McCartney, did you also meet his family?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And at the time are you living at your grandparents house still?

Jodi:  For a brief time and then I moved.

Willmott:  So the time that you are living at your grandparents’ house, did you also see Mr. McCartney’s family?

Jodi:  Right.  I befriended his sister and her children.

Willmott:  And at some point in time you said you moved from Yreka.  Where did you go?

Jodi:  I moved in with Matt’s family also.  He had family all along that whole interstate area from Yreka to Medford he had family.  I moved in with his family.

So this is the friend of her boyfriend who she just recently met.  She weasels her way into his family’s life and moves in with them while barely knowing them.  This to me shows her prowess at manipulation.  She quickly won these people over so much so that they opened up their home to her – a stranger – and rent free!

Willmott:  And why did you do that?

Jodi:  Well, in that area where there are more cities, there are more job opportunities and also I was able to… I was hired right away at Applebee’s in Medford because I had prior experience with that company.

Willmott:  So when you moved in with Matt’s family, where are we talking about?  Actually in Medford?

Jodi:  It is in a city Phoenix, Oregon.

Willmott:  Phoenix, Oregon?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  Where is Phoenix, Oregon in comparison to Medford?

Jodi:  I would say 15… well, probably 10 miles south, maybe.

Willmott:   And what was the point of you moving in with Matt’s family?

Jodi:  Well, there was no rent.  They took me in to get on my feet so I can get a job and be in an area where there were jobs available.

Willmott:  Were there more jobs available in Medford than in Yreka?

Jodi:  Much more and in the industry I was in there is more money to be made than in Yreka.

Willmott:  So you began working in Applebee’s in Medford?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  All right.  At a certain point did… did you and Bobbie stop contacting… did he stop contacting you?

Jodi:  Yeah, he did.

Willmott:  At what point did this happen?

Jodi:  I don’t remember the exact date.  It was in 1999.  The sword was mine so he… I just remember he liked and held onto it, but then one day he put them out on the porch where he was living and he gave them to me.  Didn’t say a word and he just shut the door and that was it.  Matt couldn’t explain his behavior.  He didn’t want to talk to me.

So Jodi moves in with her boyfriend’s friend’s family – another guy’s family – and she’s not sure why her boyfriend no longer wants to speak with her.  Possibly because she’s sleeping with his friend?  Is Matt a ploy to make Bobbie jealous, or does she want her cake and eat it too – have both guys to mess around with.  See which guy ends up being the better deal? Obviously Matt is the better deal because he has a job.  So it looks like she just upgraded.

And she drops the bombshell that the sword he previously wielded at her brother and his friends belongs to HER.  And she then changes it to plural as she’s answering Willmott’s question.  Why does Jodi own swords? Not exactly a normal thing for a 20-something girl who’s bopping around from home to home.

Willmott:  Bobbie didn’t want to talk to you?

Jodi:  Right.  I thought that was the end but we ended up talking one last time again.  At that point I can’t remember how we had our last contact.  I don’t remember that but it was toward the end…

Willmott:  It was pretty much over?

Jodi:  It was done, yeah.  We weren’t…

Willmott:  Did Bobbie eventually move away from Matt?

Jodi:  I think they moved out of the studio apartment they were sharing at the time.  They found separate places.

Willmott:  In the meantime are you friends with Matt?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And you are still friends with his family?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  And are you still staying with his family in Phoenix?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And are you working at Applebee’s at this time?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  At a certain point in time did you and Matt become involved in a relationship?

Jodi:  Yes, later on we did.

Willmott:  And when you say “later on”, what do you mean?

Jodi:  Well, not too later on.  I would say a few months later we were seeing each other.

Willmott:  A few months later?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  And a few months later than what?

Jodi:  Gosh, a few months after Bobbie and I stopped communicating.

Willmott:  Okay.  And at the time that you and Matt had started in a dating relationship, how long had you been friends about?

Jodi:  I would say maybe 3 or 4 months.

Willmott:  And then you start this dating relationship?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And are you still working at Applebee’s in Medford?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Did you and Matt move in together?

Jodi:  We did.

Willmott:  Where did that happen?

Jodi:  In Medford.

Willmott:  During the time when you started dating Matt, what kind of relationship was that?  What were your common interests?

Jodi:  Well, I have always considered myself a spiritual person.  He was into that too, just different ways we connected on that level.  We went to meditation seminars and things like that.  It was a good relationship, I think.

Willmott:  Did you find you had things in common then?

Jodi:  Yeah, we did.  He was also in Martial Arts.  I had taken that as well with my brother.  That was another common interest.

Willmott:  Did you do Martial Arts together?

Jodi:  We did.

Willmott:  Did you ever take Martial Arts classes from anybody?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  With Matt?

Jodi:  Yes.


Jodi goes on to talk about how Matt explored different religions and she was raised Christian.   She states initially their spiritual discussions were odd for her.   But he was exploring Hinduism and together they started getting in to new age type of stuff.   The religion issue with Jodi, and the fact that she’s constantly changing her ideals, shows she’s not tied to anything.  She doesn’t truly believe in anything.  She jumps from religion to religion to satisfy a goal that has nothing to do with spirituality.  It has everything to do with satisfying her man and securing her position in his life.

Willmott:  As far as your relationship was concerned, we talked about Bobbie not having a job when you were with him.  How was it with Matt?  How did he treat you in that sense?

Jodi:  With Matt he was workingHe had a stable job.  Wasn’t a lot of money, but he was responsible with his money mostly; and he paid for his half of things mostly, and he treated me a lot differently than Bobbie did.

Willmott:  How is it that he treated you differently?

Jodi:  He was polite.  He was a gentleman.  He was a little more chivalrous.  He was nice.

Willmott:  Was he respectful?

Jodi:  He was respectful.

Willmott:  At a certain time… how long altogether were you with Matt?

Jodi:  About a year and eight months roughly, close to two years but not quite.

Willmott:  All right.  And when you were dating Matt, was there a time when you left your job at Applebee’s?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Where did you go?

Jodi:  Matt and I moved to Crater Lake, Oregon.

Willmott:  And where is Crater Lake, Oregon?

Jodi:  It is 70 miles northeast of Ashland and southeast of Medford, I think.  I mean, it is east.  It is kind of the… in the middle of nowhere in the mountains.


Jodi describes the area as being a national park and resort-like.  They moved there for seasonal work, waiting tables.  They had dorm style living arrangements and she and Matt shared a room.  They made some money and then moved back to Medford when they were done.   Jodi resumed her job at Applebee’s.

Willmott:  What happened during the second season?  Did you go back up to Crater Lake?

Jodi:  No.  The second season came close and Matt and I decided to have space between us.  By then we weren’t getting along… we were getting along.  There was a little more argument in our relationship.  It wasn’t as happy anymore.  We decided to spend time apart.

Willmott:  When you are spending time apart, did you consider yourself broken up?

Jodi:  We were not broken up.  We just needed space, not living together.  It was like kind of a trial period.  We were still together on the weekends.  He still came to my apartment.  I moved to Ashland and we were still together.

Ok, who’s having flashbacks to Ross and Rachel… we were on a break?  You can see where this is going.  First, Jodi being consistent with her behavior – she repeatedly sleeps with guys who she’s broken up with/not getting along with.   Obviously using sex to keep him in the picture, hence, the weekend visits.

And as you’ll see in the paragraphs ahead, Matt, according to Jodi, cheats on her.  She can’t fathom any of her men being with other women, even when they’re broken up.  Which, ok, I’ll give her that.  Jealousy is not an abnormal response.  BUT, Jodi’s responses are never normal.  She can’t simply have the emotion and go on her way.  That jealousy, and lack of control, and rejection, incites her and seems to ignite her disordered side.

Willmott:  Why did you move to Ashland?

Jodi:  Ashland is where I always wanted to be.  It is a little more expensive because it is kind of a little touristy town, but I found a good deal on some apartment listing online; and I applied for it and I got the apartment.

Willmott:  Were you working at Applebee’s still in Medford?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And so during the second season, where did Matt go?

Jodi:  He went to Crate Lake for the soon.

Willmott:  And you stayed in Ashland?

Jodi:  I did.

Willmott:  At some point in time, was there… was there a break-up in your relationship?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  What happened?

Jodi:  I found out that he was seeing somebody at Crater Lake.  So…

Willmott:  How did you find that out?

Jodi:  Some people who work at Crater Lake told me.  I didn’t know these people, but they recognized me because on the weekends that he didn’t come stay with me, I went and stayed with him.

Hmmm… so people that don’t know her decided to do Jodi a favor and notify her that the boyfriend she’s no longer living with is seeing another girl?  Makes sense, right?  I’ll go out on a limb here and will speculate that Jodi snooped and found out that Matt was seeing somebody else.  Let’s not forget, “mystery women” also notified Jodi that Travis was seeing somebody else.  And we know from the text messages that Travis was livid over her obvious mendacity.

Martinez objects.  He wants to know how Jodi knows these people recognized her.  The objection is sustained.

Willmott:  Did people come and talk to you?

Jodi:  They stopped me.  I don’t know how…

Willmott:  They stopped you.  Did they know who you were?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  How do you know that?

Jodi:  They said “Hi Jodi”

Willmott:  Based on the fact that they called you by name, you were able to understand that they knew you?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  You were at Applebee’s at the time?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  So they stopped you as you were walking by you said?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  And what happened?

Jodi:  I asked them how… I asked them if I knew them.  Maybe I didn’t remember them from something.  They said, “We work at Crater Lake”.  I said “Oh, that’s great”.  I knew they were there and they knew Matt and that’s how they knew me, and I just said “hi” kind of thing and I continued on and kept working and…

Willmott:  Did you eventually learn that Matt was seeing somebody?

Jodi:  Before they left, I stopped by their table one more time and they told me.

Willmott:  They told you?

Jodi:  Yeah, they said they took a vote and they decided to tell me.

Willmott:  I’m sorry?

Jodi:  They said “We took a vote and decided to tell you”

Willmott:  Prior to that, were you at Matt’s dad house ever?

Jodi:  What do you mean by ever?  I have been there.

Willmott:  That’s a good question.  Prior to that, did you ever see a picture of Matt and a girl at Crater Lake?

Jodi:  I did.  I was at Matt’s dad house hanging out with his girlfriend, and we were on the computer and we were looking at photos and there were photos of a girl with… the file name was just of B.  That was the initial maybe.  The file names were B, B1, B2, B3 and that kind of thing.

Willmott:  Where was the picture taken?  Can you tell?

Jodi:  Yes, I could tell it was in the lodge.  It is called the great hall, the lodge of the dining room.

Willmott:  Could you tell whether or not it was a current picture, like from that particular season?

Jodi:  That I couldn’t tell.  I didn’t look at the date, time stamp.  It looked current.

Willmott:  So based on that and then you have these people talk to you at Applebee’s after that?

Jodi:  Yes, this occurred after that.  It made me put the two together but not right away but, yeah.

Willmott:  Tell me what happened when you find out that Matt is seeing somebody.

Jodi:  I asked them a few more questions.  Oh, I asked them what her name was.  They said it was Bianca and so that’s when I put the two together.

Willmott:  The B and Bianca?

Jodi:  Yeah, they said Bianca.  I didn’t know her.  It was slow.  I asked my boss to leave early and…

Willmott:  Why did you ask your boss to leave early?

Jodi:  So I can go there and find out if it was true.

Willmott:  So you were going to drive all the way up to Crater Lake?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  How long of a drive is that?

Jodi:  It is 70 miles.

Willmott:  So it is a little over an hour?

Jodi:  Well, it is through the mountains.  It takes roughly an hour and a half I think if I remember correctly.

Willmott:  Did you do that?  Did you drive up there?

Jodi:  Yes, I did.

Willmott:  And was Matt in Crater Lake at this time?

Jodi:  No.  He was in Borango Springs during that time.

Willmott:  What is that?

Jodi:  Borrego Springs is… it is either a city, I think.  I have never actually been there.  It is in Southern California near San Diego, and he was trying to get seasonal work during the winter at a resort there.

Willmott:  Okay.  So you are driving up.  What is your purpose when you are driving up there?

Jodi:  I wanted to see if… I wanted to ask Bianca if that was true.  I didn’t know these people.  If it is true, I obviously don’t want to continue in a relationship with Matt.  If it is not true, then… I don’t know who these people are.  So I didn’t want to just take their word for it.

If your red flag warnings aren’t going off yet, they should be.  There is nothing normal about first confronting the supposed other woman before discussing it with your boyfriend… unless you are looking for trouble!  Especially if your source is total strangers.  She knew Matt was out of town and she chose to confront this woman rather than talk to him.  She was going there to harass Bianca, not have a chat with her.

Willmott:  Okay.  So what happens when you get up there?  What did you do?

Jodi:  I went to the dorm on the top of the mountain, and I just walked in.  I mean, people are everywhere.

Willmott:  So it is something that you can just walk in?

Jodi:  Yea, right.

Willmott:  And were you able to find who this Bianca was?

Jodi:   I did.

Willmott:  And was she in… was she in a room or something?

Jodi:  She was in her dorm.

Willmott:  Okay.  And did you go and knock on her door?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  When you knocked on her door, are you yelling at her?

Jodi:  No.

Willmott:  Are you causing a scene in any way?

Jodi:  No.

Willmott:  Were you pounding on her door to let you in?

Jodi:  No.  I knocked loudly so she could hear, but I wasn’t pounding.

Willmott:  Did she come to the door?

Jodi:  She and a friend came to the door.

Willmott:  So tell us what happened.

Jodi:  The friend took off and she let me in.  She said she knew who I was.  I guess she said she knew me…

Willmott:  Jodi, I can’t hear you.

Jodi:  I’m sorry.  She let me in.  We got talking.  I asked her and she said…

Willmott:  You asked her what?

Jodi:  Well, I said I heard that… I don’t remember my exact words but I asked her about her and Matt and she pretty much confirmed for me…

Willmott:  What did you do?  (they adjust sound as Jodi is hard to hear)

Willmott:  Okay. So she confirms for you that Matt is actually seeing her?  Is that what you just said?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Okay.  How did you feel?

Jodi:  Well, at the time… I’m in her home.  I’m not going to freak out or anything.

Willmott:  Inside.  We are talking about inside.  How did you feel?

Jodi:  I didn’t feel good.  I mean, I felt very deceived obviously.  He is still sleeping with me.  He is still coming to my house on the weekends.  You know, we are going places.  I mean, physically going places… not in our relationship obviously.  So it hurt.  I was very hurt.

Willmott:  How did you handle that situation with Bianca after she confirms it?

Jodi:  I just… I asked her like how long it had been going on, and she told me that.  She said they had not slept together, but they were romantic; and they saw each other often and hung out; spent the night with each other, that sort of thing.

Willmott:  Did you do anything to her?

Jodi:  No.  No.

Willmott:  Did you start yelling at her then?

Jodi:  I never yelled at her.

Willmott:  Did you have any kind of angry words with her at all?

Jodi:  No, not at all.  She didn’t even know we were still together.  She was under the impression we were broken up.  I didn’t blame her for anything, you know?

Willmott:  So what did you do after… what did you do after that with Matt with your relationship?

Jodi:  At that point I waited for Matt to get back to Borago Springs.  I think he was coming back the next day.  So I went over to where he was staying at his dad’s at that point and confronted him.

Willmott shows the court a picture of Jodi and Matt around late 2001/early 2002.

Willmott:  You said… you said this could have been taken after you broke up?

Jodi:  I know it was taken after we broke up because that is at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and he moved to Montana after I did.

Willmott:  That begs the question:  Were you friends with him after you broke up?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  So tell us how is it that this relationship ended.

Jodi:  There were tears and he cried.  I cried.  It was difficult.

Willmott:  Did you break up with him?

Jodi: Well, it just seemed… I don’t know that one person really broke up with the other.  It is just that the relationship was over.  He was seeing somebody else, you know.  Obviously he was… he had moved on in some way because he was seeing somebody else, but we just were no longer together at that point.

Willmott:  Okay.  Now, at this point in time, you are staying in Ashland?

Jodi:  Yes, I was living in Ashland at that point.

Jodi explains how the Martial Arts instructor that at one time taught her and Matt also lived in Ashland with his girlfriend.  His girlfriend’s brother, Richard Molay, is the one who gave her a reference for a job at Ventana Inn in Big Sur, CA.  Richard was working there at the time.  Big Sur is an exclusive and expensive area to live on the coast.

Willmott:  As far as when we talk about you progressing.  In going… working from the Purple Plum to Denny’s to Applebee’s, those type of places, how does Ventana Inn fit into this?

Jodi:  I would say it is the nicest place I ever worked.

Willmott:  And as far as money was concerned, was it good financially for you?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  You got hired to do what?

Jodi:  I was waiting tables there as well.

This was at the end of 2001.  Jodi eventually moved in to their employee housing.  There was a two week wait to get in so in the meantime she stayed in the campground on their property.  Matt stayed with her for those two weeks.  So after he cheats on her, and they are broken up, she’s still sleeping with him.  When she moved into the housing, he stayed at the campground.  Matt was eventually hired at Ventana Inn as well but maintained his own housing, while Jodi lived with other roommates.   She states they were just friends but there was some brief lingering intimacy.  He left the following spring.  Jodi worked there for three and a half years.  She made friends there, including Richard Molay, the guy who helped to hook her up with the job.    She also ended up being a part time hiking guide through a man she met there, Steve Copeland.  They would take guests on hikes through their trails on the property.



Willmott establishes that Daryl Brewer was the Food and Beverage Director, and he was the one who hired Jodi.  Jodi states that they did not socialize at first.


Willmott:  At what point did that change?

Jodi:  Well, at one point he decided to step down from that position so he could spend more time with his son; and we were interested in each other at that point.  We had a conversation that we discovered that.  So we sort of began to date.

Willmott:  Tell us a little bit more about Mr. Brewer.  He was the food and beverage director.  How old was he at the time that you…

Jodi:  At the time he was 42.

Willmott:  So was he older than you?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Quite a bit?

Jodi:  Quite a bit.

Willmott:  Was he married?

Jodi:  He was divorced.


Jodi states his divorce was civil but he had some bitterness about it.  She claims they worked together a little over a year before they began dating.  At that time, he was no longer her boss or anybody else’s boss.  He was working as a lead server which provided him more flexibility in his schedule.   She talks about how they eventually dated.  They had football in common.  One of their first dates was the 49ers game.  They also liked to camp.  Daryl’s son would visit him on the weekends.  Jodi says that at first, she was not a big presence in his life so she didn’t meet him right away.

Willmott:  When you first started dating Mr. Brewer, what was your understanding about the type of relationship that you were going to have with regard to marriage?

Jodi:  There would be no marriage in the relationship.  That was my…

Willmott:  Why did you have that understanding?

Jodi:  Well, when we first began dating, he was very mature about it.  He just told me “Look, I don’t ever want to get married again.  I didn’t see myself having a girlfriend, but I like you if you are okay with that.  We can be together.”  And I was okay with it at that time.


It sounds like she viewed Daryl as a stepping stone.  A way to have somebody provide for her until a better option came along.  The Mormon Church, its stable of single men, and Travis – all were a better option for Jodi.  And regardless of her commitments to Daryl, she dropped him and their house like a hot potato when her prospects improved.


Willmott:  How old were you at this time?

Jodi:  22.

Willmott:  Eventually does he start bringing his son around when you were there too?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Do you become involved with his son?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  In what way?

Jodi:  We begin going out on the weekends and doing things together.  Sometimes his son came with us camping.  We would go to the beach.  We would go to the aquarium, the park, just different things.

Willmott shows pictures of Jodi with Daryl and his son.  Juan asks that they lay some foundation as to when the photographs were taken.


Willmott:  Jodi, one of the things that I don’t think we really talked about yet is photography.

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  Did you like to take photos?

Jodi:  I did.

Willmott:  Tell us a little bit about your… your…

Jodi:  Interest?

Willmott:  Yeah, your love, your interest in photography.

Jodi:   Yes.  I came interested in photography when I was very young.  I got my first camera… it was either Christmas or birthday.  It was a birthday present when I was 10 and that sparked my interest.  I just progressed with that and continued to be interested in that.

Willmott:  You continued what?

Jodi:  To be interested in that.

Willmott:  As you got older, did you continue with your… did you get more serious as a photographer?

Jodi:  I did.

Willmott:  In what way?

Jodi:  I decided to make it a profession, and so I invested in a nicer camera.  I began to… I bought nicer software for photo editing, and I began to photograph weddings, portraits, things like that.

Willmott:  At the time you were dating Mr. Brewer, was that something that you were… were you interested in photography at the time that you were dating Mr. Brewer?

Jodi:  Yes, right.

Willmott:  When you were dating Mr. Brewer, did you ever go to… on trips with Mr. Brewer and his son?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Did you ever go to Mount San Jacinto?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Do you remember approximately when that was? 

Jodi:  That was after we moved to Palm Desert because that is right next to Palm Springs.  You take the tram straight up into the mountain.

Willmott:  When approximately?  When did you move to Palm Desert?

Jodi:  We moved there in 2005.

Willmott:  After 2005?

Jodi:  It was either in 2005 or the year after.  I believe it was that winter.

Willmott:  Judge, I move for admission of 695.

695 is a photo of Jodi with Daryl and son while they were on vacation.  They had been dating for about 3 years at the time it was taken.   Jodi also mentions that she attended birthday parties for his son and they enter exhibit 694 which is a picture of the three of them at Chuck E. Cheese’s.

Willmott:  Let’s go back in time a little bit.  We were talking about when you first started dating Mr. Brewer.  Is there… how long were you dating when you were living in staff housing?

Jodi:  I think that shortly after we began dating, he moved to Monterey.  The whole point was to be closer to his son, and his mother lived in Carmel; and he moved to Monterey.

Willmott:  What is the difference between Monterey and Big Sur?

Jodi:  Monterey is a city.  Big Sur is more just a region.

Willmott:  I mean distance.  Sorry.

Jodi:  It takes roughly an hour to get there because you have to drive kind of slow on the winding road.  It is about 30 miles south.

Willmott:  And so soon after you started dating, you said he moved to Monterey?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Did that interrupt your dating at all?

Jodi:  No.  I’d stay with him on the weekends.

Willmott:  I’m sorry?

Jodi:  We had the same days off.  I would stay with him on the weekends.

Willmott:  Did you go up to Monterey to stay with him?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  And at this point in time when you were staying with him on the weekends is… how old were you at this point?

Jodi:  23, 24.

Willmott:  So are we in … 2003?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And just so we have parameters, about how long were you dating Mr. Brewer altogether?

Jodi:  Roughly, close to four years.  We were just shy of four years.

Willmott:  Is there a point in time when you left staff housing at Ventana?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  When did that happen?

Jodi:  I’m trying to remember the exact year.  It was close to 2005.  Maybe in late ’04, but I moved… I moved to Monterey because…

Because… she was yet again, going after the man she wanted.  Moving closer to him to make sure she kept him engaged.  Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t be odd for a woman to want to be closer to her boyfriend.  But with Jodi, it’s a continuing pattern of her having no life of her own – just up and moving wherever the man is – following the opportunity trail.


Willmott:  Why did you move to Monterey?

Jodi:  My boss changed my schedule, and I wasn’t making as much money anymore.

Willmott:  How is it that you aren’t making as much money because your boss changed your schedule?

Jodi:  Well, I got into construction on the hours in the morning, and at night I worked in the restaurant.  So at night is where the money is at the restaurant.   It is dinner.  The gratuities and tips are more, and the construction job was good money as well.

Willmott:  Jodi, what did you do for construction?

Jodi:  Well, I was the labor foreperson.

Willmott:  What does that mean?

Jodi:  I helped keep the labor ready crew on task to make sure they were doing what they wanted to do.

Willmott:  So was that additional income for you?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  What happened then with your change in schedule?

Jodi:  He changed my schedule to the daytime, so I could no longer work the construction, and I wasn’t making the money at night.  I was just working lunch.  So the employment… my housing was contingent on my employment.  I needed to make more money.  So I moved to town to find different work.

Willmott:  Did you quit Ventana at that point?

Jodi:  Shortly thereafter I gave my notice once I found an apartment.

Willmott:  You gave your notice and you moved to Monterey.  Were you living with Mr. Brewer?

Jodi:  No.

Willmott:  You lived by yourself?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  What did you do in Monterey?

Jodi:  I began… Daryl gave me a reference at a restaurant where he used to work.  It was in Carmel.  I started tending bar there, and I also began tending bar at another restaurant that I helped open in Monterey.

Willmott:  Were you working two jobs at the same time you mean?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  You were still dating Mr. Brewer?

Jodi:  Yes, I was.

Willmott:  How long were you in Monterey?

Jodi:  Oh, I don’t know, about a year maybe, roughly.  I’m trying to remember.  I moved from Ventana to Monterey, and eventually Daryl and I decided to move to Southern California.

Willmott:  And while you were in Monterey, did you keep working those two jobs?

Jodi:  Well, not for long.  The schedules were conflicting so I let one job go and kept one job.

Willmott:  And after the time in Monterey, does there come a time when you move…

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  … you said and why is it that you move?

Jodi:  Darryl’s ex-wife remarried and moved to La Quinta which is in the Palm Springs area.  Southern California.  So Darryl and I decided we would like to buy a house and invest.  So we were unable to afford property in this area because it is very expensive.  So we decided to move up to the Sacramento area, and we made an offer on a home.  It got accepted and…

Willmott:  Did you end up moving into Sacramento?

Jodi:  We didn’t.

Willmott:  It didn’t work out?

Jodi:  No.  Darryl decided that he would… he didn’t want to keep his son far apart from his mom because we were going to keep his son with us full-time.

Willmott:  And… but did that end up happening?  Did his son end up staying with you full-time?

Jodi:  No.  We decided to come down to the area where she was which was Palm Desert.  He continued… they continued on the same schedule where she had him about roughly four days a week, and he had him three days a week or you know.  Sorry.

Willmott:  Okay.  So at the time you guys move, are you starting to become interested in real estate?

Jodi:  Yes, well I was.

Willmott:  You were?

Jodi:  Right.

Willmott:  What year is this about?

Jodi:  Well, I had been interested in real estate for years but…

Willmott:  You had been what?

Jodi:  Interested in real estate for years, but I didn’t have any money to invest.  So…

Willmott:  What did you do with your interest in real estate?

Jodi:  I took classes at the Monterey Peninsula College; read up on it sort of thing; followed real estate trends and prices.

Willmott:  I’m sorry.  What year was this about?

Jodi:  The year that I took the classes would have been 2003 or 2004.

Willmott:  The year that you moved to Palm Desert?

Jodi:  2005.

Willmott:  In 2005 what was going on in real estate generally speaking at that point in time?

Jodi:  It was booming at that point in time.

Willmott:  And what is it that you and Daryl or Mr. Brewer were trying to do by buying a house?

Jodi:  We were going to invest in a house; hang on to it for two years and flip it… not flip it in that sense.  We wanted to hold on to it for two years with the hope it would increase in value and sell it and buy another house or more property. 

This was a short term venture for her to make some money, and be on her merry way when the time was right.  The future was looking up for her.

Willmott:  Were you able to buy a house in Palm Desert?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  And distance-wise, did that keep Mr.  Brewer close to his son?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  You know, besides real estate classes, did you take any other classes?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  What other classes did you take?

Jodi:  I continued my Spanish education.  I took college classes there as well, same place.

Jodi goes on to talk about the home they bought, which was built in the 70s and since remodeled.   Jodi states she has good credit but Daryl has excellent credit so they were able to buy the house with no money down.  She admits, a risky loan but they did it anyway.  The bank required to see money in the bank before they could sell it to them so Jodi had $12,000 saved in the bank, but she didn’t use it towards the house.  So she scored the man, the house, and got to keep her $12,000, which we know she eventually blew through because the house went into foreclosure.  They were joint tenants, 50% ownership.  They closed in June 2005.  She took a job at California Pizza Kitchen in Palm Desert.

Willmott:  So tell us about when you moved into the house.  What was life like at that point?

Jodi:  It was kind… it was exciting because it was my first house.  There was a pool.  We went shopping and got furniture.  We didn’t go all out.  We just had fun getting a brand new refrigerator, things like that.

Willmott:  Was Mr. Brewer also working?

Jodi:  He was, yes.

Willmott:  Let’s talk about your mom and dad for a second.  At this point in time did you have contact with them?

Jodi:  Sporadically.  We didn’t call each other a lot.

Willmott:  Did you talk to your mom very often about your relationship with Mr. Brewer?

Jodi:  Not really.

Willmott:  For that matter, did you talk to her very often about your relationship with Matt McCartney?

Jodi:  No, not really.

Willmott:  So you said sporadic contact?

Jodi:  Yeah, by the time I was in Palm Desert, we talked on the phone.  I don’t remember how often, but it wasn’t really often.

Willmott:  Was your mom at that point anyone you thought you could confide in?

Jodi:  No.

Willmott:  You didn’t have that type of relationship?

Jodi:  We didn’t have that type of relationship.

Willmott:  All right.  And when you were in Palm Desert, what happened after your first year as far as the house is concerned?

Jodi:  The house decreased in value.  We weren’t… it wasn’t appreciating.  The whole housing market was start to go crash at that point.

Willmott:  So generally speaking, the housing market everywhere or what did you see going on?

Jodi:  The housing market mostly everywhere.  I’m sure there were some pockets in the country that were increasing still, but the whole housing market was coming down.

Willmott:  What did that do then to your investment with Mr. Brewer?

Jodi:  It made it more or less worthless.

Willmott:  Worthless?

Jodi:  Yeah.

Willmott:  During that first year, did you two live together?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  Were you living this in that house?

Jodi:  Yes.

Willmott:  How often did his son come?

Jodi replies that he spent the whole summer and after that, the weekends.  She describes her relationship with his son as a big sister/little brother type relationship.  She was not involved in his parenting; she didn’t consider herself to be a mother figure.  I guess we have that to be thankful for.


Breaking Down Jodi’s Secret Testimony – Part 2

Jodi as teen

October 30, 2014


Willmott: What kind of interests did you have when you were in middle school? Did you have any kinds of things that were special to you?

Jodi: Yeah.

Willmott: Tell us what that was.

Jodi: I became interested in art very early on. I took art class at school.   When I was younger, I wanted to learn Spanish. I couldn’t wait to get to high school to take Spanish. In 8th grade they offered it as an elective so I was very excited to take that so I did.

Willmott: So were those two things special to you?

Jodi: They were.

Willmott: And what kind of grades were you getting in middle school?

Jodi: Mostly As and Bs for the most part until the last semester of 8th grade.

Willmott: Was there a problem your last semester of 8th grade?

Jodi: Yeah.

Willmott: What was the…

Jodi: There were a few problems.

Willmott: Let’s start with your family. What was your home life like at that point?

Jodi: Well, it was… it wasn’t as warm anymore. My mom… well. My little brother and sister [Joey and Angela] were born. I was close with them. My brother [Carl] was doing his own thing. We weren’t really hanging out anymore. My mom was working full-time. My dad was working full-time. I was baby sitting a lot…

Willmott: Jodi, who were you baby sitting?

Jodi: My little brother and sister. If they were home, the focus was on the babies. We weren’t really having dinner anymore or hanging out or going to the movies, things that we had done when we were little.

Willmott: Could you tell a difference in your household as far as your family dynamic was working?

Jodi: Could I tell the difference?

Willmott: Yes, from the time you were a little girl.

Jodi: Yes, I could see a difference.

Willmott: Was it getting any better… better than it was or was it getting worse?

Jodi: It wasn’t getting better. It was kind of sliding as far as just quality, general quality of our relationships we have in the family.

Willmott: What was going on as far as the discipline was concerned? Were your parents still disciplining you?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Was your mom still hitting you?

Jodi: She was.

Willmott: And what about your dad?

Jodi: He was still aggressive. He wasn’t using the belt so much. He began to shove me into furniture and scream and yell and things like that.

Willmott: Continued screaming and yelling at you?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Was your home something that was calm and serene or was it more chaotic?

Jodi: It was very chaotic. If no one was home, it was calm but it was chaotic.

Willmott: With you… we were talking about some of the problems by the end of 8th grade. So your family dynamic… that’s what we were just talking about… was there another problem?

Jodi: I think so, yes.

Willmott: Did you meet friends… did you have a particular friend who you think was helping you along with the problems?

Jodi: Kind of, yea. I met somebody… a girl [Patty Womack] that we were hanging out with… a few girls actually and we… she introduced me to marijuana so I started smoking that.


Willmott: And about how long did you do that for?

Jodi: Five months in 8th grade, January through May pretty much.

Willmott: And so that was the end of your semester… end of your 8th grade, right?

Jodi: Yes, right.

Willmott: Were you able… did you stop on your own?

Jodi: I did.

So the pot use was Patty’s fault. She wouldn’t have used it if somebody didn’t tell her to do it. But of course, Jodi does give herself credit for quitting on her own.   Anything she’s done that was bad is a result of somebody else’s prompting or example. Anything that she’s done right is a result of her own initiative.   She has no problem whatsoever bolstering herself, but is chronically critical of everybody around her.

Willmott: And did it… did you ever get arrested for that or anything like that?

Jodi: No.

Willmott: Did you ever have any kind of criminal charges or ever have to go to juvenile hall?

Jodi: No.

But we do know that her parents called the police on her when they found her growing pot on their roof. According to her parents, this was a turning point in their relationship. From that point on, at the age of 14, Jodi completely closed herself off to her family. This was her retribution for them trying to parent her.

Willmott: After 8th grade, did you move again?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Where did you guys move?

Jodi: My entire family… the immediately family, we moved up north to Yreka.

Willmott: When you say your entire immediate family, who is that?

Jodi: My three younger siblings and my parents and myself.

Willmott: Did anyone else live in Yreka at that time, any other family?

Jodi: Yes, almost all of my mom’s immediate family; all of her siblings and her parents were either in Yreka or in the area.

Willmott: So in Yreka, did you start high school there?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: So you were starting into a new school?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: How did that go? What did you think of the high school there?

Jodi: I liked the school. It was smaller. Well, at first as a teenager I hated being in Yreka. It was a small town. There wasn’t a lot to do. My mom… my mom went to high school there, and my grandfather went to high school there. They all knew people. So a former friend of hers from high school and a daughter my age. A daughter going into her senior year and she… so I had a friend and…

Willmott: So you had some comfort. So you had somebody to kind of…

Jodi: Right, a few people.

Willmott: … to know right when you got there?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: All right. Tell me about your home life once you moved to Yreka. What was going on at home?

Jodi: At home it just seemed to slide even more. Home life was kind of dark. It was cold. We weren’t hugging. We weren’t saying I love you. We weren’t really even talking.


Willmott: What was the relationship between you and your mother at that point?

Jodi: It was quite distant at that point. It was… we didn’t get along. I love her, of course. I have always… I love her but it was painful because we just don’t mix.

Willmott: And what about in… as far as working? So when you start high school, how old are you?

Jodi: I am 15.

Willmott: And are you working at this time?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Actually, did you start working in Santa Maria, when you lived in Santa Maria?

Jodi: I did.

Willmott: Let’s go back for a second. What did you do in Santa Maria?

Jodi: I worked at my dad’s restaurant. I was a hostess.

Willmott: And how old were you when you started working for your dad?

Jodi: I was either 13 or 14. I think I was 13.

Willmott: And did you do that the whole time? Once you started 13, did you keep working as a hostess until you moved to Yreka?

Jodi: Yes, until I moved to Yreka, yes.

Willmott: All right. And when you moved to Yreka… we were talking about your home life… what about jobs, did you have a job in Yreka?

Jodi: I did.

Willmott: What did you do?

Jodi: I also worked at my dad’s restaurant.

Willmott: And what did you do there?

Jodi: When I started working at that restaurant, I was waiting tables.

Willmott: Which restaurant was that?

Jodi: It was called Claim Jumper’s Family Restaurants.

Willmott: Is that Claim Jumper like a chain?

Jodi: No, it is not part of the chain.

Willmott: Is that something that your dad… that your family owned?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: What did you do… so you were getting paid obviously?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: What did you do with that money?

Jodi: I saved it.

Willmott: For what?

Jodi: Mostly. I bought little things here and there.

Willmott: For what?

Jodi: For a car.

Willmott: You were saving for a car?

Jodi: Yes.

So, first she says she is saving and then she says she is buying little things here and there, which on a hostess’ salary is probably all she could afford. But then Willmott asks her again what the money was for and she says a car.

At times throughout her trial she has tried to portray herself as a hard worker, and somebody who is building towards a future, but evidence to the contrary seems to exist. She hopped from job to job – working at many different restaurants. In my opinion, when you look at her pattern of jumping from guy to guy, job to job, and consider her history with Darryl who was almost 20 years her senior, and Travis, who was leaps and bounds beyond her in an established life, it suggests she was looking for somebody to latch onto. Somebody who could give her a life. Not just money, not just marriage, but an entire life.  Meanwhile, in her reality, she kept having to crawl back to the tiny bedroom at her grandparent’s house where her failures were no doubt constantly festering in her mind. Her anger at her parents for giving her a shitty life, continuing to boil.

Willmott: In high school what kinds of interests did you have? You told us about Spanish and art in middle school. What about high school? What were you doing then?

Jodi: Those interests continued. I was interested in a lot of subjects. The only one I didn’t like was math but I liked school. I liked being in school. I liked the classroom. I liked the teachers. The students, the setting, the learning. Art and Spanish were my favorite.

Willmott: Did you have any particular teachers that made an impact on you?

Jodi: Yes, my art teacher, Mr. Rangle made an impact on me.

Willmott: How did he do that?

Jodi: He was… I think he saw talent in me and he recognized that and he praised my art.

Willmott: Was he supportive of you?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Did he encourage you?

Jodi: Yes, he did.

Willmott: And were you getting any type of support or encouragement at home like that?

Jodi: No, not that kind at all.

Willmott: Did your parents support your love for art at this point? Did they do anything to help you?

Jodi: Not at this point, no.

Willmott: What kind of grades were you getting in the beginning of high school?

Jodi: In the beginning I was getting As and Bs mostly. It wasn’t… I wasn’t 4.0 but I was in the high 3, whatever grade average.

At this point, Willmott does a bit of a rehash on Jodi’s mom and dad and the state of their relationship. Him being nice at times, then conversely degrading her, and her mom just accepting it. Jodi says her dad was a body builder; a man with huge biceps and shoulders. There can only be one reason to describe his size and that would be to enhance his intimidation. They move back to the topic of discipline.

Willmott: And what kind of discipline was going on in your house during high school? Was your mom still hitting you with the wooden spoon?

Jodi: No, by that point she had broke it on my brother. Sometimes she would smack me with a hair brush. My brother got it with a wire hanger a few times. Sometimes she would use a belt.

Willmott: And at a certain point were you getting old enough that you were trying to stop her?

Jodi: Yeah, I was trying to… well, there was a few times when I would try to grab her hands and prevent her from hitting me.

Willmott: Was it kind of getting different from when you were smaller in the sense that you were able to try to do something about it?

Jodi: Right. I mean, it was a bad idea because there would be repercussions, but you can’t help it. When you are being attacked, you kind of grab, you know.

Jodi goes on to talk about her after school and babysitting duties. She says in her house, school was not a priority, chores were. There was no encouragement with her schoolwork.

The way she talks about her family is very indicative of a person who is constantly shifting blame. She is the perpetual victim. Her parents didn’t encourage me, therefore she amounted to nothing.

Willmott continues to harp on Jodi’s love of Spanish, and now it’s apparent where she was going with that – she shifts focus to Jodi’s Costa Rica trip.

Jodi: Well, my sophomore year in September at the beginning of the year there were fliers up advertising for an exchange program; and it was only a three-week deal in the summer. So I saw that as something I could do. So I decided I was going to do it.

Willmott: You decided you were going to do it?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: How is it that you did it?

Jodi: I just came home. My parents were vegging on the cough, and I told them I’m going to Costa Rica this next summer. They looked at me and didn’t argue.

What Jodi describes here is exactly how I envision her household – she is the one telling her parents what they’re going to do, and if they don’t, she’ll unleash her fury on them. They likely went along with a lot of things to avoid the anger and tears that would follow these episodes. How many 15 year olds do you know that walk into their house and tell their parents they’re traveling out of the country? The fact that she even did that in the first place, or felt it appropriate to dictate what she was going to do to her parents, just shows her bravado and desire for control. And when she doesn’t have it, she manipulates people to gain it.

Willmott: Did they help you at all?

Jodi: A little bit, yes, they did.

Willmott: And did you save money for that?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Did you pay for most of the trip yourself?

Jodi: I did.

The trip to Costa Rica lasted for three weeks and was in the summer of 1997, when Jodi was 17 years old.

Willmott: Tell us then at this point is your family life getting any better?

Jodi: No, it is getting worse.

Willmott: How is it getting worse?

Jodi: My relationship with my dad was getting more hostile, I guess. He was getting a little bit… it did not increase in frequency but it increased in severity.


Willmott: Tell me what you mean by it increased in severity.

Jodi: He was yelling and angry, and I remember getting shoved into the piano. One time I was shoved into a door frame, and I hit my head on the side here and I passed out.

Willmott: Sorry. Tell me what happened when you got hit into the door frame.

Jodi: I lost consciousness briefly and I slid down the wall.

Willmott: What was going on? Were you arguing with somebody?

Jodi: I was arguing with my mom. I don’t remember why, but she started trying to hit me. I don’t remember with what. I grabbed her hands and we locked hands like this (indicating), and she was digging her acrylic nails into my skin and it hurt and my dad got involved. Got up and…

Willmott: What did your dad do? You said your dad got involved. What did he do?

Jodi: He got up from the chair he was sitting in and came over, and somehow. I guess, he separated us and… well, he didn’t throw me but he shoved me into the door frame.

Willmott: All right. And your head hit the door frame. Is that what you remember?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: And you said you lost consciousness?

Jodi: Yes

Willmott: What happened when you woke up or when you…

Jodi: I’m sure it was brief because the next thing I remember was I was sitting slumped like on the floor and my mom was holding my chin up.

Willmott: What was your mom doing when she was holding your chin up?

Jodi: She was continuing to yell at me, whatever she was…

Willmott: Did you hear her say anything to your dad?

Jodi: Yeah, I did. I heard her say “Be careful, Bill”

Willmott: How did that make you feel when you get to this point of supposed discipline with your family?

Jodi: I was stunned because my dad had never done… it was reaching a level of dangerousness that it had never reached before. So it was… I don’t know. It was just odd to me because even though there had been a violent type of discipline in my house, it had never reached that kind of level.

It’s the same type of escalation she describes when she talks about Travis being an abuser. Her lies seem to be built on the same formula.

Willmott: How did it make you feel inside as far as the way your mom… were your mom and dad… did your mom get upset with your dad for doing that?

Jodi: She didn’t really seem to, no, she didn’t.

Willmott: How did that make you feel?

Jodi: Well, it drives the wedge even farther between us. I felt more distanced than ever between my parents. I just didn’t feel like we were a family. We were a family but we weren’t acting that way. There were no warm feelings between us. There was no ill-will; but like I said, there was no hugging. There was no I love you. It just became worse and more distant and more cold and just a little bit… it just felt darker in the house.

Jodi frequently shows cracks in her stories. She did the same when testifying about Travis. Her allegations of abuse come across as suggestions, not as accusations, and she certainly doesn’t appear to be a person in pain remembering deeply disturbing times. Her reactions and words don’t match. Then she backtracks. “There was no ill-will”. How can there be no ill-will when you were supposedly beaten? She has to somehow balance and explain her on-going relationships with these people who have supposedly wronged her terribly – her parents wronged her, Travis wronged her, Bobby wronged her, Matt wronged her… yet, she maintained relationships with every single one of them. Why? Because Jodi is a victim and what she has created in her head is a fantasy about them abusing, cheating and lying to her. Interestingly enough, that’s exactly what she’s done to all of them but in her mind she sees it in reverse.

What did Jodi’s parents have to say about their relationship? The only time we’ve heard from them was when the cameras were rolling anonymously at the police station. When they spoke with Detective Flores, they described a Jodi who was out of control and for no reason that was apparent to them, constantly at war with them.


Willmott: After junior… did you finish your junior year?

Jodi: Not really. I guess I finished with Ds and Fs and almost no attendance towards the end.

Willmott: Did you go back to school for your senior year?

Jodi: No. I turned 18 that summer and stayed in the work force.

Willmott: You kept working?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Now at the time… in your junior year, were you dating anybody?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Who was it that you were dating?

Jodi: When I first started my junior year, I was dating a guy named Victor. I broke up with him sometime in the fall, not too long.

Willmott: Let me take you back before… Victor is somebody you met in Costa Rica, right?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Let’s talk… let’s go before that a little bit.

Jodi: Okay.

Willmott: Had you met somebody named Bobbie Juarez?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: How old were you when you first met him?

Jodi: 15.

Willmott: Did you date him a little bit?

Jodi: Not initially we were just friends. Then eventually, like, I met him in the summer; and I think by the new year or slightly after the new year, sometime in January, we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend.


Willmott: How old were you when that happened, when you decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend?

Jodi: I was still 15.

Willmott: Okay. How old was Mr. Juarez?

Jodi: He was 18.

Willmott: So was he in school with you?

Jodi: No. He was out of high school.

Willmott: How long did that last?

Jodi: I don’t recall but it didn’t last until the school year. It didn’t last very long.

Willmott: What happened?

Jodi: He was getting very serious and so I felt it was a little bit heavy. He was saying “I love you” and he wanted to spend forever with me and that sort of thing. So it just seemed a little bit intense and serious. So I broke up with him.

Willmott: So you broke up with him. Is that what you said?

Jodi: Yes.

So this evidence is supposed to illustrate that Jodi can walk away from men, she doesn’t automatically obsess over them. It was him that wanted her more and she didn’t want that, so she broke it off. No obsessing, no stalking, she just walked away.

Willmott shows the court a picture of Jodi with Bobby, as well as a family picture from when Jodi was a teenager. They revisit the Costa Rica trip and Jodi explains how she stayed with a host family and began to date their son while she was there. After the trip, they kept in touch by phone and via letters. He came to visit her in the US. But the relationship didn’t last long.

Willmott: What happened to it?

Jodi: It got to a point where… I mean, he is a nice guy. He is good looking but he was… we argued a lot. He was… he didn’t like me to… he didn’t like for me to talk to other people. How do I say? He was kind of possessive and it was just not my thing.

Willmott: And at this point you were only 17?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: And did you… obviously the relationship broke up, right?

Jodi: Right.

Willmott: Who did the breaking up?

Jodi: I broke up with him.

Again here, Willmott is prompting her to demonstrate how she was able to walk away from yet another man. Ironically, she considers him to be possessive. She didn’t like that so she ended the relationship. The situation with Travis has to stand apart from her other relationships… having a pattern of clingy, obsessive relationships where she can’t let go definitely would not bode well for mitigation.

Willmott: How did you…

Jodi: Yeah, I called him and broke up with him.

Willmott: And you are kind of wincing when you say that you called to break up with him. Was that something difficult for you?

Jodi: Yeah. It just seems kind of messed up to break up with somebody on the phone. It is something I think… I knew he loved me. It was difficult. I heard him crying on the other end of the line, and I felt like at least I owed it to him to break up to his face; but we were in different countries so.

Willmott: After you broke up with Victor Arias, did you end up meeting or… had you been friends with Mr. Juarez after you broke up?

Jodi: Yeah, we reconnected and were talking for a while at that point.

She recounts that she broke up with Victor in the fall of that year and her and Bobby started dating on the first of the new year, 1998. Things continued to deteriorate at home.

Jodi:   Well, things had gotten just to a point where I didn’t want to live there anymore. I began… Bobbie and I began to make plans to move in with him and his parents/grandparents.

Willmott: When you say “parents/grandparents”, what do you mean?

Jodi: They were an elderly couple. I believe they were his grandparents like biologically but he called them mom and dad.

Willmott: How did you effectuate those plans? What were you doing?

Jodi: Well, little by little I began to pack up some things that I had and whenever I was visiting. I would take them over to his house and he had a shed in the back; and we would put all my things… I had dishes and things that my dad had given me when he closed the restaurant this year, household stuff my books things like that.

So she’s secretly moving out of her house. She’s not sharing these plans with her parents, she’s gradually moving out on her own. This is in line with what her parents said to Flores; she kept her life secret and wouldn’t tell her family anything. I think this goes beyond Jodi just not liking her parents. The need to hide your life and be secretive indicates you are engaging in something (or someone) that you know to be wrong. She wanted ultimate control over everything she was doing and didn’t want her parents’ input, so she left.

Jodi: Well, at that point I stayed up all night packing and…

Willmott: Tell me what point this is.

Jodi: This is three months before I was 18.

Willmott: So you would have turned 18 in July of 1988?

Jodi: 1998

Willmott: Sorry.

Jodi: I would have turned 18 that July. So roughly April. I think it was sometime in the spring. I packed up all my things all night long, and then I picked up my cat and walked out the door about 7:00 in the morning and drove everything… drove out to his house; dropped everything out and…

Willmott: When you walked… sorry… when you walked out the door, were your parents there?

Jodi: My mom was in the kitchen.

Willmott: Did anybody say anything?

Jodi: You can see the front door from the kitchen and she saw me with my cat and she said “what are you doing?” and I said “nothing”. And I just shut the door and I took off in my car and then I called her.

Willmott: You went over to Bobbie’s?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Did you call your mom later?

Jodi: I called her when I got there that morning just so they were aware of what I was doing at that point.

Willmott: Is that when you told them that you were moving out?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Did they do anything to stop you?

Jodi: No.

Willmott: Did they come over to Bobbie’s house and pack your things up and make you come back?

Jodi: No.

Willmott: Did they try to convince you to come back?

Jodi: No, to come back, no.

Willmott: After you moved your stuff into Bobbie’s house… grandparent’s house, did you go to school?

Jodi: I did that day, yeah.

Again, making her parents out to be the bad guys in the situation. Jodi wasn’t loved enough so she was forced to move out and they didn’t beg her to stay.

Willmott: That is the end of your junior year or the beginning of the end of your junior year, right?

Jodi: Pretty much. Things were already getting difficult, but I think that was sort of a turning point where things really began to go south where I couldn’t salvage my grades anymore at that point.

Willmott: During this time when you lived with Bobbie, that’s when you think you were working at a couple of different places?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: And what about Bobbie, was he working?

Jodi: No. He had never had a job.

Willmott: And so where was your money going?

Jodi: Well, eventually it was going to him and I. We were living… it was kind of a 50//50 team.

Willmott: Were you helping to support him?

Jodi: Yeah, food, clothes, that sort of thing.

It sounds like Bobbie was using Jodi just like Jodi uses everybody else. The guy never worked a day in his life yet in Jodi’s delusional mind they are a 50/50 team. She describes the living conditions of the home. She says it was dirty and the front room had tar running down the walls from cigarettes. There was dusty clutter all over and the floors and carpeting were in very bad shape. In telling the court how awful Bobbie’s home was, she’s also making the statement that her home life with her parents was so deplorable that she’d rather live in a dump with a guy who has zero work ethic.

Willmott: Was there a certain point in time when you broke up?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: About when did that happen?

Jodi: I think that was in May I broke up with him. [1998]

Willmott: What happened that you broke up with him?

Jodi: I found out he was cheating on me so I broke up with him. I found out that he was seeing someone else so I broke up with him.

Willmott: How did you find that out?

Jodi: Well, he had been talking with this woman for a while on the phone; and she was out of state; but they spoke very frequently. My understanding was that he had an interest in her previously but they were just friends now.

Willmott: Are these things he would tell you?

Jodi: Yes, uh-huh. So I saw them talk and friendship is fine. So I didn’t think much about it. I kind of had a weird feeling. We would go to the public library to check out e-mails.

Ok, here we go… If Jodi needs to explain their process of checking their messages, you can pretty much bet she hacked into his email and she’s trying to justify it here.

Willmott: Let me stop you there. So back in that day, 1998… Did you have a computer in the house?

Jodi: No. No computer, no cell phone, nothing like that.

Willmott: You had email?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: You said you had to check your email at the public library?

Jodi: Right.

Willmott: Did you both go and do that?

Jodi: Right.

Willmott: What happened?

Jodi: We would go to the… sometimes we would just each use a terminal or if the terminals were being used, we would each take turns using the same terminal. We would check our emails right in front of each other. It didn’t seem like he was hiding anything, and I would see emails in his inbox from her.

Willmott: Wait. You would see emails in his inbox from who?

Jodi: From this woman.

Willmott: This woman that he was supposedly just friends with?

Jodi: Yes, right. I never read any of them. He never read any in front of me. Just the way he spoke to her seemed a little bit more than just friends.

Willmott: How did you hear him speak to her?

Jodi: He was very sweet to her. He laughed a lot.

Willmott: How is it that you would hear him?

Willmott has to ask this question because she knows darn well that Jodi snoops. So one can imagine that while Bobbie was on the phone in the other room, Jodi was probably standing at the door listening.

Jodi: He would speak on the phone when I was home. It seemed like when they were on the phone, it was their own world. You could just tell, you know. He seemed kind of… tune everything out, not in a bad way. More like in a way that you could see that someone had feelings for someone, almost an in love kind of feeling.

Willmott: How did that make you feel?

Jodi: It was uncomfortable. I mean, I took his word for it at first; but it was uncomfortable.

Willmott: What happened during the time you broke up with him?

Jodi: The day we checked our emails I was headed to the Purple Plum to work and before going there, I dropped him off at his friends so he could hang out there. He didn’t have a car.

Willmott: What happens?

Jodi: Well, my feeling was very strong by that point. So I decided I wanted to check. So I went back to the library and I checked the emails that he had been writing her the ones he had sent her and they were very loving. They were more than friends clearly. So…

Willmott: What did you do?

Jodi: I printed them all out and I drove to the house we were living in. I packed up all my things; threw them in my truck. Asked my grandma if I could stay with her. She said, yes, and then I drove… I called in sick for work. I was sad. I was upset. I drove back to the friend’s house where Bobbie was and I pulled him aside so we could talk privately, and I handed him the letters and showed him.

Jodi describes Bobbie as being very shocked to see the letters. He wanted to go somewhere with her to talk but Jodi claimed to be too hurt. She says he was very sweet and loving toward the other girl and she felt he treated the other girl better than he treated her. Jodi and Bobbie had only been back together for about four or five months at this point. She says that when Bobbie discovered she had moved her belongings out, he felt really bad and apologized. But Jodi still moved out.

Jodi: He promised he would not talk to her [the other woman] anymore. There was nothing going on between them. He cared about me. He loved me. He won’t talk to her, that sort of thing. He was very apologetic, and I believed he was sincere.

Willmott: Did you accept his apology then?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: Did you believe his apologies?

Jodi: I did.

Willmott: When you moved back in, what was your relationship like after that?

Jodi: At that point it was… it wasn’t that great. I mean, it just seemed to get emotionally more chaotic. There was turmoil as far as that goes.

Willmott: Turmoil between the two of you?

Jodi: Yeah, emotionally like he as a little more upset all the time. I can’t really describe it. He would kind of play mind games.

Willmott: Was your relationship rocky after that?

Jodi: Yeah. It wasn’t super rocky but it got rocker as time went on.

Willmott: What… when you stayed with him after you came back, why did you do that?

Jodi: You mean why did I continue to stay?

Willmott: Right.

Jodi: I loved him. In fact, I was in love with him; and he told me he loved me. So we were two people that love each other. We were young but we loved each other. I figured we could work through our problems that’s how I thought.

It’s the same cycle – Jodi is with somebody she loves and she claims they betray her. But she stays because she’s a good person, so we should all pity her. The intensity and chaos of this relationship, just like her others, only increases as time goes on. Yet, the blame is always pointed at the other person, it’s never her that’s done anything wrong. When every single relationship in your life involves turmoil, at some point don’t you think you need to look at yourself and wonder what part belongs to you?


Breaking Down Jodi’s Secret Testimony – Part 1


October 30, 2014. With the courtroom cleared, except for family members and jury, Jodi takes the stand.  Willmott walks her through some initial questions to establish she acknowledges her killing of Travis.  Jodi also acknowledges she willfully lied to cover up the crime.  This is her moment with a brand new jury.  Whatever she says here can, and should, have more impact than any other mitigation witness.


Willmott is guiding her to a place where Jodi has the opportunity to express her remorse about the murder of Travis.  The jury has been instructed that they must accept this was a premeditated murder.  So as much as Jodi wants to claim there was a domestic dispute leading to self defense that day, the jury must accept that premeditation occurred, not self defense. Is anybody really surprised that Jodi again – knowing that she is convicted – falls flat on her face when it comes to the issue of remorse?

Willmott: You were present this morning when Miss Sorenson and Mr. Alexander spoke to the Jury, weren’t you?

Jodi: Yes

Willmott: And did you listen to what they had to say?

Jodi: Yes

Willmott: What do you think of when you hear what they had to say?

Jodi: I think that when I hear that, if I could do… I wish so badly that I could just take that away from them, and that I could reverse what I did, and that I could take away what all these people are feeling that I have hurt including Travis.

She hems and haws badly but can’t seem to find her way to ever say the words that she wishes she never killed Travis and she’s sorry for what she did. Those words have never been spoken to this day, no matter how many times Willmott or Nurmi have led her to the edge of the water.  It’s not semantics.  She simply refuses to do it.


Since the time Jodi testified in 2013, up through the proceedings that are happening today, she has maintained she doesn’t remember killing Travis. That all of that happened while she was in a fog.  But when you look at all of the conscious steps she took before leaving his house and then driving half way through the desert, it’s impossible that somebody in a fog would have executed cover-up tactics to the degree she did immediately upon the killing. She wasn’t rambling around confused for any length of time, she jumped into action the moment that knife hit the ground.  We know this from the scene; from the timestamps on the photographs and the amount of things she manipulated within that given timeframe from murder to exit. While driving through the desert she made a deliberate, well-thought-out phone call to Travis’ phone. The man she left dead in the shower.  Willmott asks her…

Willmott: Why did you do that?

Jodi: By the time I made the phone call, I realized that I had done something very bad.

How? How did she realize that with no memory?

Jodi: I couldn’t remember details, but I knew… I had a very heavy feeling, and I knew that I had done something very bad. So that phone call was the beginning of when I started to try to cover my tracks.

Nobody orchestrates a cover-up when they have no idea what they are covering up!  What if he was still alive? How the hell would she explain being there, trying to kill him, and then later leaving a cheery message for him if he was still alive?  Remember – this is HER version of the story.  She claimed she doesn’t know if he’s dead or alive, she just has a feeling.  Her cover-up tactics don’t work, and don’t make sense, unless she knows that he’s dead.  She almost trips herself up when she starts to say “I knew” and then quickly changes that to “I had a very heavy feeling”.  Safe to say, this penalty phase jury is also not buying the fog.


The focus in questioning shifts to Jodi’s family and childhood. But this time it’s not just about a wooden spoon. This time to gain any traction it would have to be about a whole lot more.

Willmott: Did that hurt physically?

Jodi: It hurt physically and it made me mad at her pretty bad.

Willmott: And other than being mad, did it hurt you emotionally?

Jodi: Yeah. It hurt me emotionally as well because she is my mom. She is this person in my life who has been loving and nurturing my whole life, and it wasn’t overnight; but she just began to get angrier and more sever in the way she disciplined us.

I suppose this is where Jodi justifies her lousy behavior towards her mom over the years. And then she accuses her dad of screaming at them and using a belt as punishment. She even goes so far to explain how angry she was when they had to move homes a few different times.

Willmott: Where did you go after Salinas?

Jodi: We moved to Santa Maria California.

Willmott: And in Santa Maria what grade were you going into?

Jodi: I was going into the 6th grade. Carl was going into 5th grade.

Willmott: Okay. Did you obviously have to start over at a new house… I mean, a new school?

Jodi: Yes, we did.

Willmott: And how was that going into a new school in 6th grade?

Jodi: Well when my parents first announced we were moving, it was awful. I was very… I was very sad. I had lots of friends in Salinas, and it was scary going to a new school, people I didn’t know.

This is what I don’t understand. Since when has mitigation been about a person’s entire life story? I feel like this is where Judge Stephens really fails the process. Every person on earth has a story. Mitigation is not intended to be the life and times of an accused murderer. Yes it is true that in death penalty cases the defendant is entitled to present any aspect of character they feel important but the court does have the ability to limit them based on the relevance of those aspects. I believe we have far exceeded that point considering the penalty phase has gone on longer than the initial trial.

Willmott moves on to Jodi’s father and wants her to describe his attitude towards her mom.

Willmott: What was happening between your mom and your dad at that time as far as your household is concerned? How was their relationship? What were you viewing?

Jodi: Well, my dad was always… my dad could be very complimentary toward my mom and very loving toward her but on… at the same time he could also be very critical and say demeaning things towards her.

Sound familiar? She’s creating a blueprint for her story about Travis’ abuse and why she never told anybody.

Willmott: Did you see your dad do that towards your mom?

Jodi: I did

Willmott: Did you see your dad demean her in front of you?

Jodi: Yeah, he mostly would demean her about her weight.

Willmott: Okay. Was that something that he used to pick on her about?

Jodi: He did.

Willmott: And what did you see as far as how your mom handled that? What did she do?

Can we all guess what she does? Nothing. Of course. This is where Jodi learned it. This is how Jodi provides a justification to the court for doing nothing about Travis’ supposed abuse.

Jodi: She normally just… she didn’t really say anything. She wouldn’t cower but she would just not say much.

Willmott: Are your parents still married today?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: And has your mom stayed loyal to your dad?

Jodi: Yes, they are very loyal to each other.


Willmott: Were you ever aware of your parents ever involved with drugs?

Jodi: Yes.

Willmott: What was that?

Jodi: When I was 4. I have a distinct memory of going into my parents’ bedroom. I didn’t know what it was at the time. There was a mirror with white powder and a razor. So I realize now that was or what it probably was and also when I was 5, my uncle… my dad’s brother got married and my dad was in the wedding. I was in the wedding. He brought cocaine to the wedding as part of the party.

Willmott: Other than that, did you have any other… did you know anything else about them using drugs?

Jodi: I have learned since that my mom smoked pot on the day I was born prior to giving birth to me. She may have done it more throughout her pregnancy, but I’m not aware of that.

Willmott: Is that something you more recently learned?

Jodi: Yes

Willmott: That was something she didn’t want to share with you before?


Willmott: Is that something she didn’t share with you before?

Jodi: No.

First, do we believe Jodi about this drug use? And do we believe that her Mom just recently told her about the pot smoking during her pregnancy? Of course, our primary instinct is no. We can’t believe anything she says. But let’s play along. If we do believe that, I can imagine how the conversation unfolded. The Arias family has been silent with the press so even though they’re sitting in that courtroom we truly don’t know what’s going on in their minds.  We know they won’t testify on her behalf.  But her Mom’s also been sitting there every day since the beginning of trial. She may staunchly support her daughter, or, she may be sitting there out of guilt. Or maybe even just interest. If Jodi and her mom did have this conversation about the pot use, I can imagine it being Sandy distraught at her daughter’s mental state. Searching for an explanation of how she ended up the way she did. Wondering if her pot use during pregnancy created this monster. Or… is it all just more lies.  Jodi building a foundation for the possibility of mental issues impairing her judgement.


Jury Questions for Dr. DeMarte


  1. Was JA mentally ill prior to the murder?  A:  She has BPD and it doesn’t come out of the blue.
  2. Without having training in DAPS testing, what is your basis for believing RG administered incorrectly?  A:  it is self-reporting test. Don’t need extensive training in it. I have read the manual several times–many mistakes.
  3. How many tests are there to diagnose the disorder and PTSD?  A:  There are 100s of tests. Some are more popular.
  4. How many did you personally administer?  A:  RAP, MMPI, TSI, WAIS. Four.
  5. How many years experience do you have in treating DV?  A:  Since 2004
  6. How many years experience with victims of sexual abuse?  A:  Same time frame.
  7. Do these fields require certification?  A:  Yes for a clinical psychologist. In terms of PTSD or DV, there’s no certification out there.
  8. When you were treating patients from 2004-2008, was it by yourself or with another psychologist?  A:  While unlicensed, we practice under the license of another psychologist but we meet alone with the patient.
  9. Do you feel that the knowledge of a sexual assault is as damaging as having a memory of it?  A:  Memory supports symptoms of intrusive thoughts. It wouldn’t be PTSD without memory.
  10. Can the body have reactions to certain stimuli that triggers emotions to a memory?  A:  Yes–there could be a physiological reaction.
  11. In one of the communications between JA and TA, TA says JA can have all of his passwords. Is it still unwanted intrusive behavior?  A:  No–not when they exchanged. As time went on, it was clear TA took away the permission.
  12. There were some communications between TA and other women where he complained that JA wouldn’t leave him alone. Were these people, like Michele Lowry, aware of his relationship with JA?  A:  Not the the extent it was sexual.
  13. How long in total did JA work at the Purple Plum both times?  AJD needs to look at her notes. (Pause as she looks.)  Doesn’t have the exact times she worked there.
  14. Did you monitor her at all after the 4 times you met with her?  A:  No.
  15. How far back did your forensic evaluation go and were all the records were available?  A:  All the records pertaining to her were made available to me, as far as I know. Evaluation wnet back to her childhood.
  16. Do you consider BPD a mental illness or psychological disorder and why?  A:  It’s a psychological disorder (same as metal illness)
  17. How does dissociation play into BPD?  A:  It’s a technique to distance oneself from an environment that is anxiety-provoking. One of the symptoms of BPD is dissociation and paranoia.


Mesa, Arizona June 4th


Two years, countless hours and endless conversations.  As armchair detectives and avid trial watchers we’ve picked apart the evidence, passed judgement on the key players, debated the motive and lamented over testimony.  But at some point in a quiet moment throughout the course of these trials, there’s always a time we finally let our minds wander.  We consider all we have learned and like the jolting memory of a nightmare past, we let the deadly scene play out in our heads…

Alexander house

Past the Prius parked idly in a locked garage, to an office with a dark laptop save for one flashing light.  Up the stairs there’s an empty media room once brimming with friends, through a set of stark white, double doors… we find two people entangled in the most hideous way…

Audacity Cover

This excerpt from Audacity is a snapshot of the vision that Nick and I share for the events of June 4th…

“I have no reason to hold anything back at this point, nor do I want to go to my grave having withheld anything that might help you piece some things together. It’s no longer about me and the things I don’t want you all to know. You deserve to know.” – Jodi’s letter to the Alexander family, July 28, 2008

Tired after the long drive Jodi pulls onto Travis’ street under the cover of night. She parks in the driveway and grabs a small overnight bag. The rear number plate of her hired car is upside down. The front plate is missing entirely. She kills the lights, and the dark haired huntress walks to the front door. The man inside the house is watching a Daft Punk video on his computer in his office. He knows Jodi is coming. She’ll stay a few hours, they’ll have some fun and she’ll be off to Utah.

Travis answers the door and Naps rushes out. The dog is a handy distraction from the tension that’s been brewing between Jodi and Travis the last few weeks. Jodi greets Naps and then quickly hugs Travis and kisses him on his neck.

“Hey, aren’t you gonna kiss me?” she says.

He kisses her on the mouth.

“Can I help you with your bag?”

“No, that’s Ok,” Jodi says sweetly.

“When I think of our relationship and the way things were, my heart begins to ache all over again. I miss those wonderful times. Why did it happen this way?”

“You’re probably wasted from driving all night. I know I’m wasted from stayin’up all night waiting for you,” he says, walking ahead of her.

“He makes me sad and miserable.”

As she walks behind him, watching him move up the stairs, Jodi wonders: Is this guy single, successful and spiritual? Or is this a phoney bullshitter who sells legal services to people who can’t afford lawyers? He can’t even afford to hold onto his own car. He’s a demon who preys on the weak. And demons must be destroyed…

“The last few days I’ve only felt bitter resentment toward him between the indifference and the pain.”

He loved Prepaid Legal because it was going to help him fulfil his dreams (except that wasn’t true). Prepaid sucked up her time, and gave nothing back, just as Travis sucked up her time, and what did she have to show for it? 10 years after dropping out of school, what did she have to show for it?

“I’m tired of disappointment. I’m so ready to live a full life.”

Travis has it all, of course. He’s found his home, he’s on the verge of a happily ever after, and Jodi wants it too. It’s a life she’s been working towards, waiting on, for ten years. And she found it with Travis, but then lost it. Because he treated her like a doormat and then when he got what he wanted, he’d thrown it away. He’d thrown her away. He treated women like garbage for his own pleasure. He wanted them whenever it suited him, and once he’d gotten his fill, cast them aside like garbage.

“Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.” ― Rhonda Byrne, The Secret

“Poor guy. It must be difficult to have to juggle all of those different girls, keeping one separate from another.”

Travis. Dear Travis. My darling, two-timing bullshitter. A pervert. One thing to the world, another thing to me. I’m his dirty little secret, and what is he to me? My curse. My burden.

The resentment stews in her belly so strongly now it burns. She can almost taste the bile in her mouth.

Travis is saying something to her, but she can’t hear.

“Oh, my hair,” she giggles, “yeah, I thought you’d like it. I did it for you”

“Why don’t you put it in braids for me and then I’ll bend you over and give your ass a good pounding.”

“Let’s sleep first, I’m tired. Aren’t you tired?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty beat. Did you get the KY?”

Jodi holds it out to him.

“That’s my naughty little schoolgirl.”

The murderess lays there silently, pretending she’s asleep.

“Sometimes I feel so broken that I can’t even cry. Other times I feel so broken that all I can do is cry.”

Travis’ bed is soft and comfortable. This would have been her bed, her home, if he wasn’t such a hyprocrite. Hell, a few months ago this was her home.

“I go from one end of the spectrum, where I feel afraid, to the other, where a tremendous peace comes over me”…

Audacity is available on Amazon




Will Borderline Personality Disorder Save Jodi’s Life?


It’s February 7, 2015, and we’re at the 4 month mark of the Jodi Arias penalty phase. Sadly, this surpasses the length of time it took for her original case to play out in court. It’s easy to forget sometimes we’re not watching a trial to determine her guilt, but rather listening to mitigating factors that could spare her life. It’s an important differentiation to make when we have the conversation about whether or not Borderline Personality Disorder can and should effect the decision the jury will render.

During the course of a regular trial, if the defendant claims to have a mental defect, they have a few different avenues in which to plead their case. One is Diminished Capacity, the other is Insanity. Let’s first take a look at these defenses to understand how they work and how they are relevant.

The defense of insanity and diminished capacity although clearly distinct are not inconsistent defenses and both may be at issue in the same case. The critical distinctions are that diminished capacity is a partial, negating defense (negates an element of the state’s case) with the burden on the state to show that the defendant acted with the requisite state of mind while insanity is a complete but affirmative defense – the defendant bearing the burden of proving that he was legally insane.

Insanity, with the hopes of acquittal, was not a defense used in Jodi’s original trial. What is Insanity and how does it work?

Legal Insanity: Background

The first known recognition of insanity as a defense to criminal charges was recorded in a 1581 English legal treatise stating that, “If a madman or a natural fool, or a lunatic in the time of his lunacy” kills someone, they cannot be held accountable. British courts came up with the “wild beast” test in the 18th Century, in which defendants were not to be convicted if they understood the crime no better than “an infant, a brute, or a wild beast.” Besides the fact that courts no longer use the terms “lunatic” or “wild beast,” current laws allowing for the insanity defense follow a similar logic. The legal basis for insanity was codified into British law in the mid 19th Century with the M’Naughten Rule, which is used in a majority of U.S. states and other jurisdictions around the world today. See Current Application of the Insanity Defense and Status of the Insanity Defense to learn more.

How Courts Test for Legal Insanity

Depending on the jurisdiction, courts use one or a combination of the following tests for legal insanity: The “M’Naghten Rule” – Defendant either did not understand what he or she did, or failed to distinguish right from wrong, because of a “disease of mind.” The “Irresistible Impulse” Test – As a result of a mental disease, defendant was unable to control his impulses, which led to a criminal act. The “Durham Rule”Regardless of clinical diagnosis, defendant’s “mental defect” resulted in a criminal act. The “Model Penal Code” Test for Legal Insanity – Because of a diagnosed mental defect, defendant either failed to understand the criminality of his acts, or was unable to act within the confines of the law.

The Insanity Defense: State Laws

A few states do not allow the insanity defense against criminal charges, including Idaho, Kansas, Montana, and Utah. All four of these states, with the exception of Kansas, allow “guilty but insane” verdicts, which often provide for institutionalization in lieu of prison. Most states that recognize legal insanity use either the M’Naghten Rule (sometimes in combination with the Irrestistible Impulse Test) or the Model Penal Code. Only New Hampshire uses the Durham standard. See The Insanity Defense Among the States for a complete list.


They did however try for diminished capacity…

Diminished capacity is a partial defense to charges that require that the defendant act with a particular state of mind. For example, first degree murder requires that the state prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant acted with premeditation, deliberation and the specific intent to kill – all three are necessary elements of the state’s case.[3]

If evidence exists, sufficient to create a reasonable doubt as to whether the defendant because of mental illness or “defect” possessed the capacity to premeditate, deliberate or form the specific intent to kill then the state cannot convict the defendant of first degree murder.[4] This does not mean that the defendant is entitled to an acquittal. The defendant still might be convicted of second degree murder which only requires that the defendant act with general malice.[5]

There are three ways the defense tried to use diminished capacity. First, with the suggestion of parental abuse. The problem with that though is typically an abuse defense is only relevant if the defendant acted in retaliation toward their abuser. Using your own prior abuse as a defense to violently harm another individual who is completely unrelated is a tough row to hoe in any courtroom.

So, second, enter the claim that Travis was her abuser. Not just physical abuse, but relentless verbal and emotional abuse. In my opinion, one of the tell-tale signs that Jodi was lying through her teeth about Travis abusing her was obviously her neglect to tell the police for a few years after her arrest, but also on the stand, she heavily muted his behavior towards her. She would throw out a crumb that Travis treated her poorly, but then reign it back in with tales of how she loved him and enjoyed sex with him. And then she unloaded a bombshell when she told the court he had tried to kill her on one other occasion. But clearly showed no fear of this man whatsoever and continued with their affair. She also downplayed his supposed pedophilia.   These were outlandish claims that simply made no sense and were unbelievable. Even the defense team had to recognize that.

So, to create the trifecta, and to avoid having to explain the 29 stab wounds and gaping hole in his neck (which is completely unexplainable), they entered the PTSD diagnosis… also known as Jodi’s Fog. And let’s be clear on this – they did bring Richard Samuels to court during the original trial with a clinical evaluation and testing that diagnosed Jodi with PTSD. It was not, as Nurmi claimed in court this week, a mere “suggestion” that she had it. Juan Martinez largely discredited Samuels’ original findings and his efforts proved to be successful as the jury didn’t buy the PTSD claim and ultimately found her culpable at the highest level.

Jodi was found guilty of murder one – premediated murder. This means the original jury believed she acted with premeditation, deliberation and the specific intent to kill. But they couldn’t come to an agreement on the penalty she should receive. One of the main reasons for that was four of the jurors, including the foreman, thought to some extent Travis’ treatment of Jodi made her go a little bit bonkers. Now, obviously, I’m simplifying this a bit. But it’s not an unfair statement to say although the defense was unsuccessful in protecting Jodi from a murder one verdict, they were somewhat successful in planting the seed of sexual deviance (translating to abuse) by Travis. It didn’t work as diminished capacity, but could it work as a mitigating factor?

So here we are two years later, in a penalty phase, still talking about abuse, behavior patterns and mental instability. Not just Travis’, but also Jodi’s. The assertion of Borderline Personality Disorder was introduced by DeMarte in the original trial, but scoffed at by the defense team at the time. It didn’t fit into their – PTSD/Jodi was beaten with a wooden spoon as a child/Jodi was a sex slave to Travis/let’s have a pity party for Jodi’s sad life – defense plan.

But now that she’s been convicted of the worst possible crime and we have a whole new jury, and whole new opportunity to explain why Jodi behaved the way she did, the defense needs something big to win this part of their case. Let’s face it, in the realm of murder, what she did was way beyond excessive and cruel. This isn’t your average crime of passion. This is a monster on two feet. For the defense to have any hope, they must be able to explain why Jodi did what she did and a cheating boyfriend alone simply won’t cut it.  So although the evidence introduced by DeMarte this week (which will be covered in detail in a future blog post) was incredibly strong for the state to illustrate Jodi’s mendacity and callous nature, there is the chance that it could also work in favor of the defense.

So let’s first look at what Borderline Personality Disorder is…

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness marked by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. In 1980, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, Third Edition (DSM-III) listed BPD as a diagnosable illness for the first time. Most psychiatrists and other mental health professionals use the DSM to diagnose mental illnesses.

Because some people with severe BPD have brief psychotic episodes, experts originally thought of this illness as atypical, or borderline, versions of other mental disorders. While mental health experts now generally agree that the name “borderline personality disorder” is misleading, a more accurate term does not exist yet.

Most people who have BPD suffer from:

  • Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts
  • Impulsive and reckless behavior
  • Unstable relationships with other people

People with this disorder also have high rates of co-occurring disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and eating disorders, along with self-harm, suicidal behaviors, and completed suicides.

According to the DSM, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a person must show an enduring pattern of behavior that includes at least five of the following symptoms:

  • Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived
  • A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
  • Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
  • Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
  • Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
  • Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
  • Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
  • Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

Seemingly mundane events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with BPD may feel angry and distressed over minor separations—such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans—from people to whom they feel close. Studies show that people with this disorder may see anger in an emotionally neutral face and have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder. –

On the surface, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that one or more jurors could consider a mental disorder, one which drives a person’s impulsivity, a reason to spare a life. They could make the argument that Jodi couldn’t control herself and there are patterns to support that throughout her life. In other words, if Jodi didn’t have this “condition”, she never would have acted this way, taking some of the culpability away from her. BUT… here’s why I don’t think that will be the case…



And I’m not talking about the text book definition of premeditation that only requires a small window of time in which the defendant considered their actions. In this case, we have movie-style premeditation. The stuff that only screenwriters dream up. We have a clear record of venomous text communication between the victim and perpetrator weeks before, a stolen gun one week before, a rental car, changed appearance, gas cans, cell phone switched off, falsified journal entries… all of it amounting to clear thought and clear planning way in advance. A thousand miles in advance. Jodi is not mentally insane. A mental disorder is not the same thing as insanity and it’s imperative that Martinez makes that clear to the jury in closing. It all comes down to whether or not Jodi knew what she was doing. And it has been proven a hundred times over in this case that she did know what she was doing. If she didn’t, she would have been convicted of second degree murder, or possibly even manslaughter. The first jury spoke loud and clear and this current jury has to consider that.

In light of that, I think BPD as a mitigating factor will fail. I don’t think it’s enough to spare her life at this point.

What do you think?





Interrogation Tape 3

01:00 JA: I wouldn’t hurt Travis. He’s done so much for me.

01:05 DF: There’s so much evidence in that house. So much… and it all points to you.

01:11 JA: I…I lived there. I was there for months and months and months.

01:17 DF: Mmm Hmm. I know you took pictures of him in the shower, just before he died.

01:31 JA: I don’t think he would allow that…

01:32 DF: Mmm Hmm…and the camera actually took a couple of photos by accident during the time he was being killed.

01:42 JA: Really?

01:43 DF: Yeah, Jodi, really! You were there! Quit playing this game. It’s time for you to just come out and tell me…

01:52 JA: I didn’t…no…I did not hurt Travis. I did not hurt Travis. I wouldn’t do that to him.

02:09 DF: We have the pictures.

02:21 JA: Can I see the pictures?

Available on Amazon….  AUDACITY

A narrative that explores the brazen nature of a cold-blooded killer.

How does somebody like Jodi Arias come into existence?  Time and again, we are surprised by the evil that exists in our world.  Why are we so easily deceived? And what imminent peril faces us when we lead double-standard lives?  Come with us on this journey and take a deeper look into the world of Jodi and Travis…

Audacity Cover



Jodi’s Last Month of Freedom 2008


Excerpts from Jodi’s Journal:

5/18/08:  Frustrating times.  My Helio phone was stolen.  It is hugely inconvenient.  I notified a few people, namely Ryan, Steve, & Sam, via email/myspace.  I hope Ryan doesn’t think I flaked on him.  I also let Gus know, too, since he was supposed to get back to me about how his date w/Joy went.  I sort of steered him toward her so I’m a little proud of myself 🙂

I love the Church as always.  I love being Morman.  This is the only ward so far (Yreka) where I haven’t sat down w/the Bishop.

This coming Saturday I’m singing at the races.  Nervous?  very.  Travis was tentatively planning to come and see me, but now it’s been pushed back to the beginning of June.  I don’t think it’s a good idea that he comes, as much as I miss his company.  Besides, I think he just wants to see me for one reason, and so that’s definitely not a good idea.  I’m just not physically attracted to him anymore.  I feel like a cloud has lifted since I moved back.  He’s still a great friend w/flaws, but I have plenty of those, too.  And although I take it as somewhat a compliment that he’s still attracted to me, I don’t think it goes very deep.

I’m probably going to Utah, soon!  I can’t wait to finally hang w/Ryan.

5/22/08:  Sad news:  I finally had “the conversation” w/Travis and it did not go well.  I sort of put it to him already in an email I sent a few days ago and he didn’t like that either, nor did he take the hint.  so I realized I had to be a little bit more direct.  I told him that of course I’m looking for his impending visit, that I can’t wait to check more things off of the list (from 1,000 Places), but that we probably would be better off in all ways if we were not physicalHe got offended and upset, then acted distant.  I tried being so sweet &  speak kindly to him, playing up all of the advantages of not violating the law of chastity, and he didn’t want to hear any of it.  He said he already knows all of that.  Then it got worse, he asked me who I’m seeing, have I been getting my kicks w/someone else, etc.  Of course I swore that I wasn’t (which is true) but also pointed out that even if I was, then that’s my right.  I also pointed out that I didn’t freak out when he confessed his potentially undying love for Mimi.  He said to leave his love life out of it.  Typical.  Then after a moment, he apologized, and said a lot of his frustration is from the fact that things in his dating life aren’t going that well, that yes, he still likes Mimi, but it’s not progressing the way he wants it to, and he’s leaning toward giving up on her.  I told him to be patient, she’ll come around.  The problem w/Travis, is hes so used to girls falling all over themselves for him & she doesn’t do that.  He needs that, I really think he does, – to wait.

Well, even sadder is we agreed to amicably part ways.  He is an amazing person, and he’s told me countless times that I am one of the most beautiful people he’s ever met – on the inside & out.  But it is really better this way.  We both agreed to change our passwords, which we had exchanged eons ago to establish, or re-establish “trust which we had both violated, so no more of that.  We had picked 2 accounts, so I chose Facebook & Gmail & he chose Facebook & Myspace.

We are truly good people at the core, both of us, but we can’t behave ourselves when we’re around each other, not even over the phone.  He said I am still like kryptonite to him.  But I’m tired of being guilt-ridden when the air clears.

I knew it was wrong going over there all of those nights, but I couldn’t say no to him, I couldn’t not pick up the phone.  He would rationalize it saying “it’s really not that bad,” or “come on, I want to please you,” and I was weak.  I went anyway, I answered the phone anyway.

Moving has certainly helped me morally.  I don’t know if it has him or if he’s found a replacement booty-call.  For his sake I hope he hasn’t, not because it would be a replacement but because it is not spiritually productiveWe both want to get married and I don’t think either of us is anywhere near that if we continue to act immorally.

I am mortified that my phone was stolen.  It had a hugely scandalous text message from him (10 pgs!) that he sent last week.  It would make a steamy romance novel sound like script from a G-rated Disney movie.  I also had 1 or 2 recorded conversations that were equally as scandalous.  I never did figure out how to play those back for him.  Well they’re gone now & we won’t be making more.  Well, actually I wouldn’t bet on it entirely, one of us will crack & call the other.

Wherever my phone is now, I just hope to text messages & conversations are never discovered.  yikes.  It’s certainly not Pamela Anderson or Paris Hilton level scandal, there’s no video, but it would be embarrassing none-the-less.

I am honestly relieved about the whole thing.  The “just friends” had too many complicated “benefits.”  I’m not seeing anyone per se, but somehow I feel like it still isn’t fair to any of my current prospects.  And Travis said he’s still certain he wants to marry Mimi, although they’re not yet dating.  It’s not fair to her either, in my opinion.  We hadn’t talked about her in so long, I didn’t realize he was still in pursuit.  I wouldn’t dare lecture him over it though.  The first thing that almost popped out of my mouth was, “then why the hell are we still messing around if that’s the case?!?”  But I kept it shut.  For 2 reasons.  1. It would be like the pot calling the kettle black (as I’ve had my eye on some wonderfuls myself)  2. I honestly don’t think Travis can be monogomous.  I’m certain he wasn’t w/me. Although I don’t dwell on it anymore, but my certainty was further solidified when his pattern of behavior continued w/his next girlfriend, Lisa Andrews.  When he finally admitted that they had been dating, I felt so guilty.  I almost wanted to tell her, it seemed only fair, but by then had already broken up and he had moved onto Mimi.  Besides, not only would telling her destroy our friendship (mine & his), but it would cause a lot of unnecessary drama and pain.  And just because Travis acted like a schmuck when it came to how he treated his previous girlfriends, doesn’t mean he’s capable of learning how to be better.  It’s just that I’ve yet to see evidence of it.  But perhaps it will be different w/Mimi.  One things for sure, I wouldn’t want to be the “other girl” in that relationship.  I couldn’t handle the guilt.  And these things don’t necessarily discount all of his other amazing qualitieshe’s done more for me than I could ever count.  He’s helped me in every area of my life.  I am indebted to him for all of the wonderful things that he’s done.  He’s just so dang hot & cold.  Bi-polar even, it would seem.  But I have a gazillion memories that we’ve created that I will always value, just like the ones w/Bobby, Matt, and Darryl.  All unique.  All special, all priceless.  Anyway, one thing I do know is it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  I’m saddened, yes, but it feels like a conclusion, like closure.  The final chapter was finally written and the end was bitter-sweet.  He said on some level, we will always be friends, but we both agreed that it’s better this way.  It’s true.  And it’s very much in alignment w/the email I sent him a few days ago.  He’ll be so much better off this way spiritually & emotionally.  And I’ll start dating for real again soon.  Not this casual fill-in-your-Friday-night stuff.  I won’t miss his teasing or his bi-polar tendencies to snap and yell and say things he ends up regretting, but I will miss his sense of humor.  We still have his car to take care of, but he’ll keep me posted on any new developments.  He said if all else fails, then we’ll just scrap it but I would never do him wrong.  Anyway, that concludes things, I guess.  I’m sad, yet relieved, content, liberated, even.

5/24/08:  On the romantic front, I haven’t heard much from Ryan 😦 Maybe he lost interest, I don’t know.  I guess time will tell.  Sam calls and texts me quite consistently though, nearly everyday as of late.  I haven’t been consistent enough w/ responding, so I’d better get on the ball w/that.  He seems like a really nice guy.  He’s funny and easy to talk to.  He has a strong testimony of the church.  He doesn’t say much about his daughter Taylee, so that raises a small concern.  The fact that he has a daughter isn’t a deal-breaker, but one thing that is most definitely at the top of my list is “devoted father” among other things.  Maybe he’s just resistant to talk about her because he thinks it’ll turn me off.  It wouldn’t, not in the least.  If anything, it would probably make him even more attractive to me.  If we do decide to take things further, and if it ever did work out, I’m just not sure how I’d enjoy living in Tucson.  But that’s all in theory right now.  Speaking of AZ, I found myself missing Dan Freeman today.  Strange.  Not in a romantic way, but we bonded, and he’s a great friend.

5/26/08:  Ok, so we finally cracked.  I called and left Travis a voicemail and he called back.  He was acting very angry at first.  He said check your email so I did, but there wasn’t anything from him.  So I called back and said I couldn’t find an email, & he said he sent it on Facebook.  So I checked my Facebook and there was a really, long, ridiculous email from him, just being his classic rude.  We also chatted on gmail, more rude.  He accused me again of slashing his tires, which of course is not true.  He was mad that I got into his Facebook account, which I would understand otherwise, except he gave me the password before.  duh!  But I haven’t logged into it in almost a week since he told me he doesn’t want to do that anymore.  So again, it was just one of his cycles.  I’ve somehow managed to become his whipping-girl, and we’re both addicted to it.  It’s the same pattern as always, he gets pissed, goes off on me, feels bad, we “make-up”, things are mellow for a few days, then the cycle begins again.  I’ve learned that it’s better to just let it run its course.  Yes Travis you’re right, Travis, whatever you say, Travis. As long as I’m not too patronizing he goes right through it and then ends up being apologetic & sweet – talking afterward, and we end up having make-up sex, or in this case, phone sex.  We’re crazy, being addicted to this cycle.  We’ve explored about 90% of all of our fantasies.  We’ve yet to pull over on the freeway and do it on the hood of the car in the middle of the day.  I seriously doubt that will ever happen.  We haven’t done the mile-high yet, and probably never will, and we’ve yet to act out the Little Red Riding Hood spin in the woods, which as of last night is now still scheduled to happen.  I still have my doubts.  I know I’m not seeing anyone, but I don’t want to sabotage any future possibilities.  I’m not superstitious, but somehow it seems obvious that the only way we are going to move on is if we discontinue sexual contact.  I cracked and called.  He called back.  We fought, then made up.  I still care so much for him.  He’s a great guy and he’s always been there for me.

He let’s things go to his head at times, so I’ve been less liberal w/my compliments & praise, although truthfully I think the world of him.  He’s like my dad in so many ways.  Physically & personality.  Strong, built & athletic, but no real tall.  Likes to work-out.  Opinionated.  Republican.  An occasional jerk & rude, but always redeems himself.  Despite his character flaws, I love him & always will.  Anyway, we chatted for close to 2 hours last night – or actually, this morning early.  I let him get it out of his system until he couldn’t help it anymore.  We called each other and talked until it was light out.  It actually wasn’t really talking.  Well, dirty talk, I guess you could say.  I’m just as naughty as he is, more in fact.  I often feel guilty but it is the guiltiest pleasure I’ve known since I discovered Valrohna Chocolate.  Anyway, I have the perfect spot in the woods for us up Greenhorn.  It’s been about 7.5 years since I’ve been there, but it’s secluded and perfect for getting down.  He has a video camera now.  I can’t believe we’re still planning this.  Part of me is overcome w/anticipation, and part of me is reserved and wanting to step up and be a good girl.  But he’s very persuasive – in a good way.  Anyway, enough about him for now, he won’t be here for several weeks at this point.  I started working at Casa Ramos as a bartender.  It’s not a job I’m proud to tell people about, but what can you do?

5/27/08:  Good news!  Ryan texted me finally!  I was beginning to give up on him.  I hadn’t heard from him in almost a week, and I was kinda bummed because he seemed like a great guy.  But he sent me a text saying he’s been having problems w/his phone and he’s been getting complaints from others that his text messages weren’t going through.  That and he’s spent the weekend camping.  So that explains all of the absenteeism 🙂  He’s fun to flirt w/through text messaging.  I’m stepping out of my usual routine a little because I’m not usually that flirtatious w/somebody that I don’t know.  But hey, I like this guy, well so far, what I know about him, I like.  Plans are definitely in order to travel there asap.  The great news is I get Tues, Wed & Thurs off at Casa Ramos so if I rent a car I’ll have plenty of time to see Laura, Z & Tazannah and Ryan!  I’m stoked.  I still haven’t called Laura.  I’m bad about that stuff.  I’m not sure if I’ll go next week or the next.

5/30/08:  Well, I’ve decided to go next week to Utah.  I’m pretty stoked about it.  It works for my budget & my schedule.  Plus, I’ll have 2 whole days to spend w/Ryan.  I’m hoping to hit up a few National Parks that are on the list while I’m there and I’d be stoked if Ryan came w/me.  Definitely Zion N.P. & maybe even Lake Powell, although it might be too far out of the way, perhaps the Utah side?  I’ll have to MapQuest it.

Anyways, as much as I like Ryan so far, I’m not too sure.  Well, of course, we’ve never hung out.  But he doesn’t seem overly interested in me, although he seems happy that I’m coming out to see him.  I’m just flowing…

6/1/08:  Just getting ready for the road, mostly.  I’ll be leaving in a few hours, even though I haven’t slept.  If I get sleepy, I’ll just pull over.  So I’ve revised my itinerary a bit.  I’m definitely going to stop & see Jack & Darryl in P.G.  I miss those guys.  Depending on Matt’s schedule, I’ll visit w/him for a bit, but I’m definitely crashing at his place, just for one night probably.  Then I’ll head south.  If Laura allows it, I’ll visit her, Tazannah & Z, and take some cool pics. (Wow, I just wrote “pics” instead of “pictures.”  It’s a text-messaging syndrome, I guess).  And I’d like to go to SD to visit Jon Dixon.  He’s got a lot of cool stuff going on there & we get along really well.  I know he likes me, and if he were a church member, there would definitely be  potential, because I like him, too.  I especially like his enthusiasm and never-ending zest for life.  He always seems so easy-going & happy.  And he’s handsome.  A little more petite than I prefer as far as build, but that’s easily over-looked.

Anyway, I’ve yet to call him either, although I know that if I just showed up in town, he’d make room in his schedule for me 🙂  He’s a wonderful person.  Travis thinks he’s the Anti-Christ because he left Pre-Paid for YTB.  I think it was a dumb decision for sure, but not worth persecuting someone over.  Free enterprise is the name of the game in America.  I love it.

Anyway, after SD, I’ll drive to UT.  I’m not sure what we’ll be doing there, but cuddling is definitely on the list.  So is a massage.  Maybe a nap.  Some dinner.  I’m not too concerned w/what we do, as long as it’s w/him, so that we can get to know each other a little better at least.  Maybe that will help to shed a little light on this somewhat intriguing situation.

I mentioned my road trip to Travis.  He didn’t sound all that thrilled for me.  As far as I know, he knows nothing of Ryan.  I asked Zion not to mention it to him, so that I wouldn’t have to explain anything or hurt him further.  It would only be a repeat of our last blow-up and I know he hurts, and I don’t want him to hurt.  It’s so confusing because I know he likes Mimi a lot and I now know that he was dating Lisa the whole time, but yet he was angry & hurt & devastated when I told him about Jon Dixon last August/Sept (I think it was early Sept.  Definitely before the Vegas convention.)  It’s been such a grey area for me because we broke up but continued seeing each other on the D.L.  We were clearly not an item, not dating, not bf/gf, so it’s not like I cheated on him.  I really shouldn’t have mentioned it to him.  He told me that I’ve hurt him more than the death of his father hurt him.  That is so heavy.  My heart aches because he hurts.  I care for him very much.  I just want him to find happiness.  I should’ve known better than to tell him about Jon Dixon but he asked – SPECIFICALLY – in two different ways – “You swear you haven’t kissed anyone since me?”  And “Tell me the truth, did you ever kiss Jon Dixon?”  I don’t know why he wants to know so bad.  He tortures himself.  I said “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t discuss this topic.”  But he persisted the way he always does.  He baited, too, by saying it doesn’t matter now, I can tell him.  So duh, Jodi.  I told him.  I didn’t tell him all of the details, but he could immediately tell I was trying to filter it.  He was way upset.  We hung up.  I called back, upset myself, and said it’s all in the past, and he was half asleep by then, and his demeanor had turned soft and said it’s ok, it just stems from the fact that he is lonely.  When he pulled the lonely card again, it brought tears to my eyes.  He deserves a happy & fulfilling relationship just as much as I do.  I don’t want him to be lonely.  To think that at one time we could’ve been married seems so far from what is now.  At least he’s found his “the one”!!! That’s more than I can say.  And although all of that is true, we still fight feelings for each other?  He told me via gmail chat that he still fights feelings for me everyday.  I was a little surprised to learn that.  I know that he cared for me and all.  Honestly, I’ve been largely ignoring any feelings that creep up up, usually by just distracting myself.  The prospects of new beginnings on the horizon promise light again at the end of the tunnel, a short tunnel as I’ve made this journey more than twice before & each time, the tunnel is a little bit shorter, each time, I’m always a little bit stronger.  I love Travis & always will.  We are just different.  His fiery temper doesn’t mix w/my tendency to cry at the drop of a hat, over spilled milk, or whatever.

Anyway, huge disgression so mums the word on Mr. Ryan Burns, although Travis jokingly insinuated that I was certainly making a trip out to UT for a “reason”.  He said, “Uh-huh, yeah, sure, I bet. ” etc.  He’s not dumb and won’t be able to pull it over his eyes for long if things progress.  But that’s ok. Maybe if he hears it through the grapevine, he’ll have even more incentive to walk toward getting his marriage on.  Which would mean no more messing around, being naughty w/me or whoever else he might be doing his thing with.

He also began to sweet talk / guilt me that I was making the road trip to UT to visit friends, etc. & when I could instead come out to AZ & see him.  He actually made me regret my itinerary for a few moments.  He is incredibly persuasive.  But I stood my ground! Honestly if it weren’t for the prospect of hanging out with Ryan and getting to know him better, I would have been weak & folded I would have cancelled my plans to Utah entirely  & driven down to is house.  He actually a little bit hurt & upset that I didn’t change my mind 😦

I gently declined, gently refused, but I could tell he was bothered.  I reminded him that he’s going to be here soon anyways.  I played up all of the fun things that we’re going to experience.  I just got a few “yeah, buts…       ”  and eventually an “ok, whatever.”  He’s stubborn… So am I, really.  But it’s already.  I have a few more things to do & then I’m hitting the road.  To Redding, where I’ll leave my car, then onward.



Calls to Travis


Excerpts from voicemails:

5/15/08 / Name Unknown:  Hey, dude, I just got your message.  I’m so sorry.  Oh, I can’t even imagine how upset you probably are right now.  I’m so sorry.  But um, um, I, I have to go to work right now but I’m driving to work so if you can call me back real quick we can talk for a little bit until I, I get to work, you know, but, um, I’m sorry but I don’t have a lot of time but, dude, I’m so sorry.  And it’s gonna be okay though, all right?  It’s gonna be okay and you’ll get through this and it’s gonna be fine.  So, just give me a call if you can and I’ll talk to you later.  Bye.

Date Unknown / Tonya:  Hey Travis, it’s (inaudible) Tonya.  Um?  Just wanted to call and talk, apologize for being weird.  Um?  But yeah, just wanted to say hi, it’s been strange, um, and you know you don’t need that so.  Anyway, um, if you want you can call me back otherwise, um, I’ll talk to you later sometime in Phoenix.  All right.  bye.

Exact Time Unknown / 6/4/08 / Leslie Udy:  Travis, it’s Leslie.  Got a question for you.  I know that you and Jodi still talk a lot and everything and she was headed to Utah and I’ve been trying to call her.  I can’t get a hold of her.  It goes straight to voicemail but she was supposed to be here earlier today, was gonna come to training tonight and never showed up and I haven’t talked to her, I guess Ryan Burns talked to her yesterday and she told him, you know, she would be here, you know, late this afternoon or whatever but nobody’s heard from her and can’t get a hold her and, and her phone goes straight to voicemail so a little bit worried.  If you know anything, give me a call, um, and let me know if you’ve been talking to her, you know, where she ended up or what’s happening.  Don’t know if she (inaudible).  Hey let me know.  I appreciate it.  Thanks Travis.  Talk to you later, bye bye.

6/4/08 / Midnight / Jodi [6 hours post-murder]:  Hey what’s going on?  It’s almost midnight.  Um?  Anyway right about the time you’re starting to gear up.  I know Leslie called you so I already called her so you can call her back if you want but it’s not necessary.  Um?  My phone died so I wasn’t getting back to anybody.  Um?  And what else?  Oh, I drove 100 miles in the wrong direction, over 100 miles, thank you very much.  So, yeah, remember New Mexico, it was a lot like that only you weren’t here to prevent me to go into the three digits, so fun, fun.  I’ll tell all about that later.  Um?  Also we were talking about, when we were talking about your upcoming travels my way, I was looking at the May calendar, duh, so I’m all confused.  Um?  But Heather and I are going to see Othello on July 1st and we would love for you to accompany us.  Um?  I don’t know whether Team Freedom’s event is though but you know it’s on the list so we can so, um, we could do Shakespeare, Crater Lake and the coast, if, if you can make it.  If not, we’ll just do the coast and Crater Lake.  But let me know and I will talk to you soon.  Bye.

6/5/08 / Aaron:  Travis, it’s Aaron it’s about 5:00 on Thursday.  I really need to get in touch with you, bro.  Call me back as soon as you can.  Bye.

After June 4 / Larry:  Hey Travis, it’s Larry.  I’m just wondering where you were, man, for this meeting, it’s 6:15.  Thanks.  Bye.

After June 4 / Caller Unknown:  Hey, I just want to know you’re alive, um, called you several times and you’re not calling me back.  So anyways, um, yeah, call me, even if you’re in the spirit world, um, I expect a phone call or a text or something.  Okay, bye.

After June 4 / Reagan:  I haven’t talked to you in a few days and honestly I’m really worried about you, so, if you can give me a call back when you get this and let me know that you’re okay I would appreciate it.  I hope everything is okay.  Talk to you soon hopefully.  Bye.

After June 4 / Alicia:  Hey Travis, it’s Alicia, um, I don’t know what you’re doing, if you’re busy tonight, but I really need a friend.  I know I’ve been kind of flaky and kind of hit and miss, but just because my marriage is a joke and I’m trying to get out of it and, um, anyway.  I just wanted to chat with you and maybe we could go to a movie or something if you’re, if you’re available.  Um?  If not tonight then maybe tomorrow we could hang out or something but it’s just a matter of time before, like there is just so much stuff that leaving a message or a text message or an email, I just can fill you in on my drama of a life and crappy marriage.  Um?  When (inaudible) out it will be easier.  I know I haven’t seen you forever.  But I feel like we can just pick up where we left off as far as friends go so, um?  I feel like, I feel like it hasn’t been that long just seeing you just because I see you online and stuff, but I realized the other day, it’s been a long time.  So, anyway, um, I also wanted to see like any connections you have as far as girls, I know, I don’t know if you know of anyone looking for a roommate, um, I’m trying to get a house with my friend Laura Bigger(sp), do you remember her?  Um?   and move out as soon as possible and get this joke of a marriage over with.  So, just give me a call.  I don’t know why I feel compelled to talk to you.  I just think that you’re in a good, good place in life and I could really use that.  It could be really helpful for me and getting me back on track and actually to be around someone that’s positive and going somewhere in life.  So, you know my number talk to you soon.  Bye

After June 4 / Chris:  (inaudible)  change of plans, Thursday, Chichen Itza and Tulum for 100 bucks a person.  I need to know now if you’re going and if Mimi’s going.  Yeah, he’s in the middle of a project.  But you know what his phone just didn’t ring today and it’s not ringing now.  I wonder what’s up with that?  I wonder.  I don’t have his home number in my phone.  You do?  I’m gonna call you on your home line dog.  Peace.  If you need to get a hold of me just email me.  I’ve got wireless internet.  Okay, late.

After June 4 / Caller Unknown:  T, email me man.  I sent. I left you a couple message on your home line.  Been trying to get a hold of you for days, days and days and days.  Um?  If we don’t hear back from you mui pronto, like within the next hour, yeah, well like seriously we won’t have room so, um, we’re, we’re gonna have to just make confirmations without you ’cause I have to give the guy an exact number ’cause he gets a car just the right size, so, if there is an extra space in his car, oh, my gosh, (inaudible) dude, just let me apologize in advance.  She said you can hang out with Abe.  We’ve seen him more than we’ve seen anybody.  It’s kind of funny.  Bravo, that’s what he always says anytime there’s an applause necessary he says bravo, very unique.  All right, dude, so no phone calls from you, no emails, no frickin’ nothing, jack nothing.



Travis’ Last Two Months


It’s easy to write about Jodi Arias.  With her ever-changing looks and personalities, her lies and deceptions, her lust and greed, and most of all, her shockingly violent behavior.  We’ll never run out of things to say about Jodi.

But how often have we talked about Travis?  I mean, really talked about Travis.  Not just that he was a good guy, outgoing and hard working.  Not all of the fluffy stuff that people say when a good person has passed on.  I’m talking about the flaws, the disappointments, the struggles and idiosyncrasies… the things that make a person unique.  The things that make us real.  To talk about these things doesn’t have to be seen as a disservice to the dead.  It’s a real conversation about who these people were, what they dreamed for their life and where they fell short.  Isn’t there value in discussing that?

A few things stood out to me when reading Travis’ journals from the last two months of his life.  First, he only mentioned Jodi twice.  A stark contrast to Jodi’s journals that constantly lament about Travis.  About how much she loves him, all the things they did together, both small and big, the conversations they shared, and the many ways he let her down.  Yes, many of Jodi’s journals were BS.  But once you get a feel for her manipulative patterns, you can start to see what was real and what was likely fake.  What’s abundantly clear is that her life was completely centered around one person – Travis.

But for Travis, in the last two months of his life, the first time he mentions Jodi in his journal is to say that she’s gone.  As in, gone from Mesa and one could infer, gone from his life.  The second was to document a full day in which he had no communication with her – and he loved it!

The next thing I noticed was his clear attempt at utilizing the Laws of Attraction.  All throughout his writing he repeats life is good regardless of what’s happening at the time.  He wills things into existence.  But we all know – although he wasn’t writing about Jodi, he was still doing Jodi – and then some.   Maybe she didn’t mean enough to him (his dirty little secret) to write about her, or maybe he was bullshitting his own journal and didn’t have the nerve to put in writing what he was really doing.  Either way – what he was writing, what he was wishing and what he was doing were not in unison.  Not even close.

The third thing that surprised me was his affection for Lisa Andrews.  We’ve all focused on Mimi Hall as being the woman he supposedly wanted to marry, the one he was taking to Cancun, but in most of his writing in April & May, he talks a lot about how much he misses and loves Lisa.

In court last week, numerous text messages were released that we hadn’t yet heard, documenting just how many women Travis was speaking to in the last months of his life.  And quite honestly, it was shocking.  He was clearly on a path to find a wife and he says so in his journal, but he was also playing the field – hard.  He talks about meeting women online and at parties although, again, what he was saying in his text messages was a far cry from what he was saying in his journal.  Maybe he chose not to share those things with family, friends, and obviously church members, but the biggest problem he had was being dishonest with himself.

The point of all this isn’t to be critical of Travis dating multiple women. It’s not to blame him for his untimely, horrific, death.  Jodi holds responsibility for that.  And it’s certainly not to suggest that he was an abuser.  I don’t believe that, nor is there any evidence to support that.  The point is to look at where Travis and Jodi were in their lives and what factors may have lead to their collective demise.  There’s a much bigger story to tell than simply blaming it all on jealousy. No, there was a lot more going on and the picture becomes a little clearer when you take a close look at their very own words…

Excerpts from Travis’ Journal:

4/8/08:  Life is good.  I am happy.  I want a girlfriend that has the potential to marry.  Now that Jodi is gone and Deanna is moving, space is created, less drama can insue.  I miss Lisa.  I feel like a fool pursuing Mimi.  I was just so confused by it all.  I was also stressed about money.  This was all motivation to kind of let things go by the way side.  I feel like an idiot.  I’m also sad because I lost my journal and wouldn’t be surprised if it was stolen and most of time with Lisa is in there.

4/9/08:  I think I am going to hit a grandslam on all of the stuff I’ve got going today.  I’m in the zone.  I have much regret with Lisa right now.  I messed up a good thing.  Anyhow I will think on this for a bit longer and figure out what I am going to do.  Anyhow today is gonna be great and I’m gonna be happy.  Life is always perfect and is the way it is, sure can become better.

4/10/08:  Mimi emailed me and texted me a few times, also she complimented me on my house and also on the speech I did.  Her mother and herself listened to it.  She having a book/film club.  I think she is gonna hold the thing at my house.  We will see.  I’m not gonna get too excited.  My mind is already all over the place right now.  I talked to Michelle and Taylor about stuff.  Taylor are in the same boat of possible regret, lonliness, confusion and inconsistant commitment.  Michelle and Lisa are similar on sum raspects too.  They don’t want a ton to do with me.  I didn’t speak to Jodi for the entire day.  Wow.  I think that would never happen.  I loved it.  No negativity, no distractions.  I’m sure it was good for her too.  Anyhow that’s about it.  Life is wonderful.

4/14/08:  This week should be a great week.  A lot to do and a lot of unfolding events.  The book club.  A new RM, the Cancun trip.  I think good news will come out of all of them.  So I’m gonna assume that’s the case and get to work.  Life is good.  Back to work.

4/15/08:  The good news is I got an email today saying that I qualified for the Cancun trip.  I’m very very excited about that.  Prepaid has allowed me to have a lot of fun.  I’m very fortunate.

4/16/08:  Today is gonna be productive and I am happy about it.  I have my book club with Mimi, so I’m pretty elated about that.  So life is good and getting better.

4/17/08:  Well yesterday as I suspected due to lack of promotion and human nature, the meeting sponsored by Mimi was slim not a ton of people there.  Anyhow it meant more Mimi for Me Me 🙂  We saw on the same Lovesac.  That’s right she invited me to sit next to her.  So I am pretty excited.  Not only that but we are hanging out tomorrow watching some of those movies.  I’m just excited to be around her.  I need to find out when I have to make the Cancun decision.

4/21/08:  Well this is one of those days where I don’t want to do anything.  Tired of dealing with Prepaid legal politics, I’m tired of figuring out girls.

4/22/08:  Mimi and I are going on a group date.  I am excited because we are friends with everyone is going.  So we will both be comfortable.  So good news on the horizon.  I got up relatively early.  I’ve been blogging a little lately.  I think I have put some good stuff on it.  It will be good to get my name out there.  In my opinion will be a catalyst for another stream of income and also will help my mind to process somethings to help along the completion of my book.  So things are coming along.  I’m happy.  It’s gonna get easier.  It’s getting better.  As the adage says:  everyday in everyway I’m getting better.

4/29/08:  The other news is my date w/ Mimi this last Saturday didn’t happen because she was sick.  I decided to turn lemons into lemonade and I went and got her an herbal remedy [illegible] ingredients, in a wicker basket with raffia and left it on her porch.  She texted me 10 minutes later saying thanks but please don’t be so nice to me.  I asked why not she basically said never mind.  So I just laid it down.  I told her via text I like you, but I don’t know if you like me.  So I need to know, so I know if I should ask you out again.  I never heard back from her.  At church however she came up to me and asked if I got her text.  I said no.  She said well we need to have a chat.  That night we did.  She told me she was interested but wasn’t sure how interested.  So she wanted to schedule the date again.  So time will tell.  That’s good news in my opinion.  The better news is I asked her to go to Cancun w/me today and she said yes.  So barring that she gets work off we are off to Cancun!!! Life is good!  Everything is falling into place.  Having said that I will close for now.  I’m happy.

5/9/08:  Life is good.  Life is very good.  Anyhow I got my mountain bike, that’s pretty cool.  I have a date w/ Mimi tomorrow.  I won’t lie, I’m excited but I hope it goes better.  Alright I’m done for now.  Peace.

[THE JODI/TRAVIS SEX TAPE IS MADE ON THE NIGHT OF MAY 10]  So did Travis have a date with Mimi on the same night he made the sex tape with Jodi?

5/13/08:  The journal writing and all productivity have ebbed and flowed the past 2 weeks.  Being in Cali and [illegible] probably too much on my website.  But I’m home now and can get back into a routine.  The Mimi thing is unchanged.  I saw her and Lisa last night at FHR.  Mimi was cordial and Lisa of course ignored me.  So all of that remains the same.  However I met some interesting people online.  Not my referred method of operating but one of these girls has raised my eyebrows.  So much that it almost seems too good to be true.  I talked to her though and her story checks out from what I can tell.  She is just so pretty that it’s hard to swallow.  Anyhow I am very very intrigued.  Really, how could I not be.  It’s better to trust too much than not enough.  So the plot thickens as I run the blind race to the alter.

5/16/08:  Mimi called me and gave me the let’s be friends talk.  Darn it darn it.  What can a brother do.  I did the best I could figure out.  But nerves was my enemy.  Anyhow I am bummed but at least I can move on.  This has been a very unproductive week.  I’m getting cabin fever too.  Literally, this house is driving me crazy.  I have such random thoughts.  Anyhow it’s only gonna get better.  Problems tend to solve themselves and things get better if you will them to. So the future is looking good. Nothing really to complain about. Time to get back to making the world a better place.

5/18/08:  The website is gaining slow momentum.  It will be a smashing success.  I’m getting ready to take that thing to a whole new level.  The weekend was one of the worst ever.  My own fault, same as the week.  Today is already better.  I didn’t get to bed until 4am.  I was thinking about Lisa.  Regret and reconciliation were what my mind were focused on.  I miss her.  I still love her.  Mimi gave me something to take my mind off things, but it didn’t change my feelings for Lisa.  I thought by now I would be over them but I’m not.  Strange really.  Alright enough it’s a busy day I need to make the most of it.

5/21/08:  Well I’m freaking out right now, I’m calling Lisa in about 10 minutes to try and clear the air sort of speak.  I doubt she will answer but that’s probably okay.  I just hope we get to talk.  Either way I am doing the right thing.  This is going to be good.  My passport stuff is in and I am doing alright.  This day should be a day for the ages.  Stay tuned.

5/22/08:  Well Lisa has not called back yet.  I can only have faith that she will.  I am broken up.  I made some big mistakes and I am paying for them now.  I guess we are all our own worst enemies.  It’s rough.  I’m not sure what my next move is.  Lisa is a hard one to deal with.  You can’t call her out on her pride because the pride just gets worse.  So I just have to open and humble if I ever get the chance to talk to her.  I think it will be good.  I know it will be good.  It needs to happen and somehow it will happen.  It needs to happen now.  I’ll see what I can do I guess to make it happen today.  But it will happen soon.  Enough is enough.

5/23/08:  Anyhow still no word from Lisa.  I’m guessing that I won’t here any word from Lisa either.  So I am gonna talk to her tomorrow [illegible]  I will definitely call her.  Time will tell.  It’s gonna happen.  I hope soon.  Besides that yesterday was kind of lame, like the past two weeks.

5/27/08:  Well still no talking to Lisa.  The blog is coming along.  That’s good.  Today is gonna be productive.  I’ll get a lot done.  People are really responding well.  UFC party was great as usual.  Met some new people.  A couple new girls even.  Anything that will get my mind off Lisa for a moment.  Memorial Day I was bored.  I didn’t do much.  I just stayed up all night and wrote.  But it feels good.  I’m getting stuff done.  I will continue to.  I’m out.

5/28/08:  Well I had a lame day. Not productive by my standards but productive compared to the last 3 weeks.  The only thing that gets done with any efficiency is my website.  Not how I want it to be.  Lots of bills due that need to get paid as well.  So the next few days will be good.  I will get work done.  That’s about it.

5/29/08:  So I talked to Lisa yesterday.  She actually called me.  It was her being slightly cold, me being slightly too nice, and me doing all of the talking.  She listening to me.  I expressed regret, love and a desire to be more cordial to each other.  She agreed.  It was about 30 minutes long.  It will all me to get over stuff.  Later Mimi came over, we discussed Cancun.  We discussed the whole friends thing.  I don’t really care.  It is what it is.  However the good news is on Saturday I met a cutie pie on Saturday at my UFC party.  I saw her Sunday again at church.  Two days ago she requested me as a friend on Facebook  We have been sending email flirts ever since.  I got her phone number.  We’ve been texting and now we are hanging out tonight.  She is young, 19.  She is cute and she has great taste in men 🙂  Now I’m excited about something, so it helps.  Her name is Brooke Rogers.  So time will tell.  I’m just happy to have something to think about.